the best part of being nonmonog, for me, is that i finally get to live my truth. i dealt with severe issues with abandonment/rejection for YEARS and couldn't do the work, so i didn't want to acknowledge my innate polyamory. i was monogamously married to a strictly monogamous person and had been with him for 8 years, and for 8 years i struggled through crushes for other people cropping up - including one major one that existed before i even met my husband. i was constantly wondering "what if i had dated (x)?", i was lamenting that i would never get a chance to be with a woman (i'd never dated one before), and i even came to the conclusion that it's weird to be forced to choose just one person, because there are so many cool people out there as well as your partner. i couldn't admit that i was polyamorous until early this year, which then contributed to the separation from my husband (he didn't want to be with a polyam person, and that's his choice). after a couple of months, i started dating a couple of friends i had developed crushes on, and that long-lasting crush i mentioned before is now my anchor partner. c:Β
so yeah, there are a lot of people in my ex's life who think the worst of me because he revealed that intimate detail without my consent (he was venting, but it's still not great due to the stigma), and they know i moved on with at least one other person. but i've never cheated, even when i was interested in exploring other relationships, and i have confidence in myself knowing that. people who take me in bad faith aren't worth my time.