I watched the 2026 Animal Farm movie. Gods help me.

Here are the notes i took while in the theater. For the record, i was NOT on my phone, i wrote the notes physically so i wouldnt be a total tool.

- "approved by the angel guild"??? and who the fuck are they.

- why are the dogs so aggressive pre-revolution? werent they raised to be aggressive by napoleon?

- WHERE IS OLD MAJOR.

- They played a rap version of Old Macdonald Had A Farm while the animals were escaping the slaughterhouse van and running the people off of the farm. Just a reminder, this is supposed to be animal farm.

- Benjamin is such a mood.

- Farmer Jones just got teabagged by an udder.

- Moses is a fucking drone now??

- "naughty juice" fucking EXPLODE.

- Napoleon has a 15 second long fart. HELP ME.

- Napoleon is acting like a bad influence party uncle instead of STALIN. (after the fact, this is a good showcase of subtle manipulation. but also. the movie makes napoleon look kinda dumb? like snowball proposes they save half of the grain they harvest for winter. napoleon is like LOL FUCK THAT so when they run her out, they eat the grain. then the animals are starving and hes like "FUCK" like he didnt know that would happen. he seems reckless and fuiled by hedonism).

- Why is snowball being so secretive about the water mill? (context she was sneaking into the house to read a book on how to build a water mill. she brought lucky and she was like "well we shouldn't tell everyone because they wont understand until we show them". she was treating the other animals like idiots. she even called them "dumb animals" at one point. very strange characterization).

- Napoleon is calling Snowball 'BORINGGG' and is using that to convince everyone not to like her. plus the "oooh she broke the rules!!" thing. Using humor to manipulate. makes yourself seem friendlier.

- DOGS. Snowball "going on vacation" (napoleons words not mine). he calls it that but he really means sending her off of the farm. at first shes like "no i dont wanna go on vacation wtf" but eventually everyone booes her out and shes like ":(" while being casually escorted away by the dogs lmfao.

- Napoleon treats Lucky like a son and manipulates him that way. Napoleon is animal racist (literally says "haha pigs gotta stick with pigs yknow). segregation.

- Whymper comes by like "yall gotta pay me using MAGIC PAPER (holds up a dollar)". so Napoleon convinces everyone to sell their stuff.

- a kid was riding on Benjamin's shoulders (well. back. cuz hes a DONKEY). the kid peed on him. Benjamin im so sorry.

- is that a fucking cybertruck???

- i wonder how boxer will die (spoilers. helicopter helicopter).

- They basically speedran the fuck out of the original plot.

- dumb fucking romance (lucky and one of the showpigs i forgot her fucking name. puffy? idk. anyway this is weird to me because its puffy leaving the farmhouse that really makes it click for lucky that whats happening is wrong. like it took THAT to make you realize?? stupid ass. might just be me bitching though).

- Ass shaking. at least i get to go to spencers after this (i did not get to go to spencers what a ripoff).

- Napoleon is rewriting the rules. He is practicing standing on 2 legs so humans will take him seriously. now this is more of a furry movie then it already was.

- haha they said ass (context Benjamin was helping Boxer push something. so Benjamin pushed him from behind and said "ass support". made me smile. only smile i smiled in the entire movie.)

- water animation is really nice.

- ipad and focus commentary (lucky, who was teaching boxer to read, was focusing on candy crush and just mindlessly going "yea you got it" to everything).

- ok so napoleon was bad/dubious from the get-go, but Plinkington (tech lady) is just making it worse. shes manipulating him just as hes manipulating everyone else.

- theyre drinking booze, but not getting drunk.

- Squealer is a bitch. this is accurate. (i noticed that Squealer is less of a major character. like Napoleon is just like "yeh go away you suck" to him.)

- Napoleon hungover.

- animals hungry and angry, charge farmhouse.

- Plinkington helps napoleon by just dumping a fuck ton of grain on the farm in front of them.

- Napoleon may sell the animals to her.

- you do NOT disrespect Biggie Smalls here. "Notorious P.I.G" GTFO .

- Napoleon is acting like a modern politician.

- WHERE THE FUCK IS OLD MAJOR im sti mad about that.

- Boxer i love you, you dont deserve to be in this piece of shit.

- Boxer trying to help a man who had a bunch of heavy equipment fall on him, even if theyre wrecking and building stuff over the farm (napoleon sold to plinkington). Boxer gonna die.

- Boxer breaks his leg, Lucky is trying to talk to him. Squealer says some dumb glue pun into his walkie talkie.

- Boxer being whisked away by a helicopter should not have been funny to me. it was a sad moment. but bro was just DANGLING.

- Glue factory. Napoleon is just like "haha lol" when Lucky confronts him about it.

- Lucky cannot tell who is pig and who is man.

- Dogs chase Lucky and make him hide. a bit more violent than the escort from earlier.

- I like the soundtrack i have to say. like the original soundtrack not the music they paid to have in the movie.

- Lucky and Benjamin chat, Lucky decides he wants to fix everything. Plinkington builds a dam around animal farm.

- The animals rebel and fuck up Napoleon's whole techbro presentation thing.

- "but some are more equal than others" becomes a chant amongst the crowd (who were workers for Plinkington. but like. bro are they all stupid. does none of them realize what theyre saying.)

- They make napoleon look stupid on the big screen. Napoleon mad. shit gets fucked up and the dam breaks, which floods the area. Moses makes r2d2 noises????

- Lucky confronts Napoleon on the silo where the rules were originally written. Napoleon is being called out. Boss fight happens (im not shitting you Napoleon tries strangling him).

- Napoleon and, presumably Plinkington, are trapped under the silo and probably drown. Same with Squealer he was in the water too.

- I think someone in the theater laughed when it seemed like lucky was going to drown too, but it couldve been an odd-sounding sob.

- End of movie, Lucky is finishing the story by telling young animals what happened, he says "We were never going to find leadership in Napoleon, or even Snowball" ??? the fuck did snowball do. besides be an ass for a while. son shes the one who encouraged you all to break out of the van to the slaughterhouse in the first place.

- "Choosing to help is freedom" huh.