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I was in a long distance relationship for over two years. This person was my whole life honestly, they were the reason why I seeked therapy for s stuff because I finally saw a reason to like being alive, I wanted to be better for them. We never once got in a fight or even an argument, whenever we disagreed on something we'd always talk it out calmly, our communication was great. I mentioned the long distance thing, well.. that distance was from one continent to a different one. We were getting ready to move in together, they had everything ready to move to my country, last thing they had to get done was change their bank account type to an international one... And then, covid happened. Then a year went by and it got harder and harder to deal with the distance, the different timezones, the disillusion of the plans that didn't work out. They broke up with me about a month ago... We're still friends, but I still love them just like the first day.. I still catch myself daydreaming about our future life together, in that little house we'd talk about, with a bunch of cats, a couple dogs and a crazy amount of plants, spending our days cooking together and singing every night... It hurts to think about, but all these thoughts always come rushing to my mind whenever we talk. I got in a video call with them for the first time after the breakup last night, I managed to hold back crying during the call, but as soon as I hung up I just broke down... Where do I even start to move on?
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How do I move on?
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13 Replies
Reply by Phantom3365
posted
Reply by Sloppobottomus
posted
As painful as it seems, personally it was easiest to move on once you limit their involvement in your life.
Reply by PrincessMedusa
posted
Honestly ....
Reply by 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖚𝖘𝖙_𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍9
posted
You posted this 11 months ago and i hope you don't need advice anymore but if you do i think you should try finding icky scenarios about them like oh you saw their butt rack or a booger lol. Or meet new people or compare them to super hot people haha.
Reply by LexiconDisgr4ced
posted
Same thing happened to me. However my long distance relationship was abusive so I ran and got an in person bf within two weeks.
Reply by notcris
posted
Long distance stuff really hurts, and I completely understand. I can see why you feel this way. I recommend that you just cry. Let it all out. Its not the greatest advice, I know, but that's what works for me. Love is a great feeling but it can hurt especially in this case.
Reply by plumnii
posted
Personally, it was the realization that like she isn’t the same person anymore.
Reply by Lauren Lee
posted
Don't contact them. It's the worst thing to do. You can't push away your feelings, just let them sink in. Sometimes you need to experience all the feelings to get over them. Also think about it this way. If you guys broke up, bond wasn't strong enough therefore it wasn't meant to be. At least your one and only is still out there. Except you need to go through billions of other people, maybe only hundreds.
Reply by Raven Soulifer
posted
Cutting ties might be the only way to do it. I was DEEPLY in love with a guy long distance. He decided to take a different path in life and just be friends but over time I realized I just couldn't do that. So finally in December I said goodbye and explained my mindset and feelings and hit the dreaded "unfriend". Then bawled my eyes out for days. But it was the push I needed because now I'm with someone.
Reply by Raven Soulifer
posted
Cutting ties might be the only way to do it. I was DEEPLY in love with a guy long distance. He decided to take a different path in life and just be friends but over time I realized I just couldn't do that. So finally in December I said goodbye and explained my mindset and feelings and hit the dreaded "unfriend". Then bawled my eyes out for days. But it was the push I needed because now I'm with someone.
Reply by blackamulet
posted
Yikes, such a hard pill to swallow. Try focusing on yourself and bettering yourself and think of yourself better.
Reply by anndroideee
posted
me paso algo muy similar bro, tenia un novio a larga distancia y de verdad pensé q funcionaria, al final terminamos pq él me fue infiel, a diferencia de vos, él y yo no somos amigos y nos tenemos bloqueados mutuamente, ya van 10 meses de contacto 0
Yo te recomiendo q cortes cualquier tipo de comunicacion con esa persona, no intyentes ser su amigo ya q solo complicaran las cosas, NO PUEDES SER AMIGO DE UN EX
no te voy a decir que superar es facil pq no lo es, el proceso duele y tienes que aprender a llevarlo, el tiempo lo ccura todo, tal ves te duela dias, semanas, mese, incluso años, pero eventualmente dejara de doler
no intentes llenar vacios emocionales con otras personas, primero sana y luego intentas otra relacion, siempre recuerda que hay mas personas en el mundo
ojala puedas seguir adelante :))))
Reply by 99iris
posted
Letting yourself feel is the first start of it. Cutting someone off entirely may seem impossible since you've planned a future with this person, and I understand this certain pain completely.
It feels like seeing your soulmate one more time watching the stars until they drift away forever. As dramatic as it sounds I like to view it that way. Especially if you're a person that loves to love.
You're still young, explore, travel, surround yourself with people who you know have good intentions. Keep the feeling mutual, you don't have to cut them off entirely, just make sure you're not constantly responding.
Play Music, allow yourself to feel emotions, just don't hurt yourself. Talk to someone you trust, find a new goal and maybe those feelings may differ during time.
More importantly, let yourself heal
I hope you found that reassurance of moving on and life's taking you to the right path.