how do you deal with a realationship and trauma?

This is a super old post, but in case anybody else finds this useful...

Definitely self-educate on attachment theory and trauma recovery. There's a lot of great books out there, people you can follow on social media, etc. Take charge of your mental health. NICABM has tons of free videos on YouTube that are super awesome, from some of the world's leading experts on trauma. 7Cups is a website that will connect you with a free therapist online, (if, like most of us, you can't afford one IRL). I've had reasonably good experiences there when I needed help.

Feel free to PM me if you're struggling with a specific relationship issue. I'm a pretty good listener and I've had a lot of success navigating relationship with partners who had histories of sexual abuse and assault. My mother was an abusive alcoholic growing up, and I've had to do a lot of my own healing as well.

You can do this.

I have trauma. It’s hard. But as long as the other is supportive, that’s what’s important! I sometimes have to stop when we are touching or having sex because of it tbh. But it’s important that they understand that you’ve been through things and that it’s hard for you. Remember that you’re worthy of love, and are not defined by your past!