granted, but it eats you omnomnom

Granted but you're only famous because people make fun of u

granted, but as soon as you step in the wood you get chased down by a bunch of bears.

granted! ..buut the eggs aren't cooked, and when you crack them, you realize they've developed past the point of being yolk..

I wish for a coffee cup that can refill itself automatically  

granted, but each jump your break one of your legs

Granted, but the changes are only able to be seen in a mirror or any other form of reflection; The alterations can't be seen on your person or physically felt.

granted, however your mother is now banana

i wish for banana

Granted, but the banana is hollow

I wish I could instantly give myself motivation for writing, drawing, etc. whenever I want.

Granted, but once you gain the motivation, like a sugar high it leaves after about an hour, and it causes you to lose all your energy for an entire week before you can regain it.

I wish I was more confident about myself   

Granted, But you'll fail every time

I wish for a windows XP with today's technology and security in it.

Granted, but you can only use one button for the whole OS (no mouse, no keyboard)

I wish i had a talent for music

Granted but you are in the mood for 1980’s-2000’s games

not granted because you didn't make a wish >:(

i wish my bf wasn't mad at me

my wish? oh, it is very simple. I WISH TO BE THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE

ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ʰᵉᵃʳ

Granted... But you're as fragile as fine china }>:) 

I wish I could shapeshift!

Granted, but you can't control what you shapeshift into or when.

I wish I had a million dollars

Granted, but you can only spend it on capybaras.

I wish my Pokémon X save file wasn't corrupted.

Granted, but you can't catch any shiny

I wish to be able to never go to school!

Granted, but you will be forced to get a full-time 9-5 job instead.

I wish I could fly!!!

Granted, but you have to eat jet fuel to fly!

I wish squids were real.

Granted but they grow to 2million feet long

I wish I was the smartest person alive

granted. now you know how to fix every problem in the world! unfortunately no one will ever listen to your advice.

i wish i had a really cute plushie.

Granted, but it's haunted by a vengeful spirit

I wish I had the motivation to do my essay

Granted, but they're all 'Karens'

I wish my dog didn't smell so bad

Усім геймерам привіт. Хотів би звернути вашу увагу на допис https://telegraf.com.ua/ukr/mestnyiy/2023-03-28/5784731-pin-up-foundation-zabezpechiv-pereselentsiv-berdyanska-gumanitarnoyu-dopomogoyu . Я просто давно граю у Pin-Up, та був здивований тим, що я не тільки граю, а й допомогаю, бо казино сплачує всі податки нащій країні.

wish granted but it tastes very faintly of piss c:

I wish I cld get that silly promotion at my silly job

Granted, but then your entire workplace turns into a circus.

I wish I had water powers.

Granted, but you only get to use it through ur asshole bc u crap only water

I wish to not be depressed anymore

GRANTED! But everyone you know is now depressed.

I wish my violent tendencies would go away forever

GRANTED! But your art block will get worse to the same scale your skills get better >:3

I wish I could pull frogs from my pocket at will

Granted! But all of the frogs you pull out shall be venomous! 

I wish i could change my appearance at will!

Granted, but you physically cannot listen to any other music, you will no longer enjoy it!

I wish I could draw well without having to put in the effort to learn. (I'm lazy)

Granted, but it only works with Crayola products.

I wish that I could do long division without needing paper or a calculator.

granted but u can only do it when u dont need to, when u do all memory of how to do in vanishes

i wish i could turn people into bugs

Granted, BUT everyone you touch turns into a bug :)

I wish I could be pink from head to toe

granted, but it's like you're covered in a non-dried gouache and you can't wash it off

I wish to stop procrastinating 

granted! but oh no, you've quickly overworked yourself and forgot to take care of your mental health! it's b u r n o u t  t i m e

I wish that I could drink energy drinks endlessly without it ever affecting my health or my weight! haha

Granted, but every energy drink you take, a person you know, or will know dies. Meaning loved ones. And others.

I wish for an unharmful, affectionate, pet cat.

Granted, but the cat always finds a way to get into your pantry and eat all your favorite foods before you get a chance.

I wish to catch a shiny pokemon

Granted, but now your game crashes everytime you try to use it. 

I wish I knew how to code anything i wanted

Granted, but it's in individual visa prepaid credit cards. the cheapest kind too.

i wish i could eat some really good buffalo wings rn

They're laced with fentanyl

man i wish i had some fentanyl

granted, but sleep so soundly that you cannot wake up

I wish that I wasn't so socially anxious

Granted but now people think you’re too extroverted and nobody likes to hang out with you.

I wish i could meet my best online friend irl

Granted, but you realize ur friend wuz catfishing u! 

I wish I could never get hearing loss!

Granted, but you can't hear music.

I wish I could dress more freely