Wayne Gretzky skates out and starts playing hockey with Ozzy's testicle.

The bones of the world's last passenger pigeon are inserted into the vending machine.

The vending machine redirects the pigeon and the pigeon flies out of the vending machine to send a message one last time.

Mr. Monopoly insets 1 monopoly dollar into the vending machine. 

A Walmart and three Starbucks open up across the street from the vending machine.

I insert a black flag into it.

A black hat hacker crawls out go the vending machine, hissing because it's too bright.

A Nokia charger is put into the vending machine

An NES falls out. The cartridge inside contains Marble Madness.

I put a thumbdrive full of personal photos in the slot.

An NES falls out. The cartridge inside contains Marble Madness.

I put a thumbdrive full of personal photos in the slot.

The vending machine easts the flash drive and prints out all the photos for you and puts them in an envelope.

I'm putting a pack of extra firm tofu inside the vending machine

Three squirrels come out of the vending machine - one red, one grey, and one black.

I insert a gnarled old stick from a tree.

A wooden doll comes out of the vending machine.

An empty notebook is inserted into the vending machine

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein comes out of the vending machine.

I insert a pack of guitar strings.

The singer of Nickleback starts crawling out of the vending machine 

A Diet Coke is shoved into the vending machine 

Acid pours out of the vending machine while Chad Kroeger is still crawling out of it. He dies screaming in a puddle of blood and human tissue, 29 years too late.

I squish Scott Stapp with hammers until he fits in the vending machine slot.

A creed radio cassette falls out of the vending machine.

Van Halen's left shoe is shoved into the vending machine.

A vial is dispensed from the vending machine. It contains a cure for herpes.

I stick 8 Billion frozen embryos in the machine.

8 million vending machine babies are thus born.

A new vending machine is replaced and the mother vending machine is retired to take care of her 8 million children  

I insert a bottle full of warm milk with a rubber nipple on it into the vending machine.

Baby clothes comes out of the vending machine.

A can of peas is inserted into the vending machine. 

You get John Lennon's teeth.

I put in a pair of orange sunglasses.

Elton John comes jumping out singing.

Elvis’ guitar is put into the vending machine 

You get a pair of blue suede shoes.

I put a tab of LSD in the machine.

One of those fake TikTok hippies comes out of the vending machine.

An advil is put into the vending machine 

You get a chocolate bar.

I put in a swan made of towels.

a chicken made of towels come out

a basket full of laundry is put into the vending machine

You got a basket of clean laundry. The machine keeps one dirty white ankle sock squirreled away for its own personal business.

I put in a lock of sasquatch hair.

You get a black vintage rotary candlestick telephone, well-used.

I put in a banana.

Bananas in pajamas comes out

A wooden baseball bat that’s broken in half is put into the vending machine 

The smells of petrichor and freshly mown grass come out of the vending machine.

I put in a black leather bracelet.

A black 1970 Chevy impala comes out

A Barbie doll with no head and one shoe goes into the vending machine 

You get a pair of glass slippers and a carriage that turns into a pumpkin at midnight.

I put in the severed head of Prince Andrew.

Documents of all his crimes are shown in the little display screen.

A sand dollar is put into the vending machine. 

You get a llama, but unfortunately it is also made out of sand.

I scream into the vending machine.

The void inside the vending machine screams back.

A dirty boot is put into the vending machine 

You get a talking pineapple and a talking boot.

I put in a sweaty black balaclava.

Simon “Ghost” Riley comes crawling out, cursing incoherently in a British accent 

I’m putting in a broken Wii in the vending machine 

Mario comes out and disappears down the nearest sewer entrance.

I insert a coin from Super Mario Bros for NES.

Yoshi from super Mario jumps out and runs away because he’s now free

I put a PlayStation controller into the vending machine 

You get a joystick that manipulates space and time.

I insert the entire Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy - all five books - into the vending machine.

A pg-13 musical version of the books comes out of the vending machine.

A pair of clean and new socks is shoved info the vending machine . 

You get a pair of sentient sock puppets.

I put in a brand new pair of boxer briefs.

Björn Borg comes out swinging his tennis racket 

A deflated basketball is shoved into the vending machine 

You get an inflated basketball and a bucket of flubber.

I insert a slice of pizza into the vending machine.

A ninja turtle comes out of the vending machine 

A snickers bar is put into the vending machine 

The vending machine starts spitting out $100 bills.

I put in a Shure SM-58 microphone.

I just put £20 into the vending machine 

It spat rotten eggs out at me !!! 

Eww

I put in a sponge to try and clean the vending machine.

A dirty tooth brush comes out. Ew lol 

I pour rubbing alcohol into the vending machine.

Nurse Ratchet comes out of the vending machine.

A Diet Coke is put into the vending machine.

You get a boom box that only plays soft rock.

I put a lava lamp in the vending machine.

Retro pillows is pushed out of the vending machine.

A boom box is put into the vending machine.

You get a clone of Tupac. He immediately starts trying to radicalize the black youth of America, but government agents posing as gang members assassinate him again.

I put in a copy of Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger.