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Let me start by saying, I went through a rough break up 5 months ago. He was my first love and I've finally stopped talking about him to my friends. I've completely moved on. I don't feel anything towards him even though he cheated. No love, no anger. Nothing.
And I kind of realized our relationship was kind of shit. He would constantly ask me to send and the whole relationship was hanging by a string. That string was sexual desire. It was all just wrong now that I think of it. He never made me feel appreciated or wanted. I kind of tried to gaslight myself into thinking he did and it worked for a little bit.
But I found someone. A girl who makes me feel wanted, loved, and appreciated. She's not mine yet, and I think it's a little too early for that. But I really do like her. She always compliments me without me having to ask. She's not toxic. She trusts me, so I trust her. She's the prettiest girl in the world. And I'm glad she likes me back as much as I do. I'm so lucky to have her. I wanna be hers so bad. One issue. I think she still has her ex in her mind. And I'm also trying to let time pass so she eventually gets over her ex. I saw one of her drafts on tiktok since she was showing me videos and I saw one captioned "its hard to love someone when you gave your all to your first love". And I kind of froze then and there. I asked her about it an hour later and she said she means its hard to trust someone after what your first love did to her and how the girl was all she's ever known for 3 years so she doesn't know where to start. It's been months since their breakup. But she says she truly does like me and she would never settle for less (her ex) when I already treat her better even when we're not "official". We kind of ended our day there, I told her I was gonna get ready for bed. And she texted me "Good night beautiful <3" and that kind of eased me.
Anyways, what would you do in this situation?
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Reply by Jason
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I would say keep pursuing this person if they mean so much to you and see a spark. I mean, for them it might be harder to love someone as equally as they did someone to who they were accustomed for so long. You two obviously can be able to love each other (from what you told us) if you talk to her about how she feels and tell her how that makes you feel. you should be mainly focused on building your relationship with her if it's too early and just take it slow. Relationships are supposed to be lasting, caring, and equal and you both should be on equal pages with what you want out of it. You're right when you said that you should wait for her to get over her ex. You should try to understand that so you won't be so hurt about it and soon enough-- when you're ready-- accept it. This might be new for you since both of you have gone through different kinds of people and problems but if you come to terms with her and accept and love each other with no ill intent, it could work out. Don't expect a relationship that might not happen either, just be kind to one another and care and all. Y'know... I don't wanna repeat myself or anything.
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