mental health help thread

Hi! Guess what! You can't always be there for someone! And in order to be the best you can be you need to take care of yourself and set boundaries! 

A few years ago a prompt in group therapy came up asking how we can be there for someone while in a bad mental state or are struggling to just take care of ourselves. Heres my notes from that; 

- Do little things like send them memes when theyre sad.

- Text reminders that you love them/to remember meds/to eat etc..

- Send the following, whether it be in chunks or just a few things, based on your judgement

First things first coping methods

- Wall Push (good for when youre angry or have a lot of nervous energy); Find a spot on the wall and brace against it with two hands and firmly planted feet. Push it as if it could actually move if you used enough weight. Pay attention to the pressure of your hands against the wall and the stretch in your legs. Feel it.

- Square breathing; inhale 5 secs, hold 5 secs, exhale 5, hold 5, repeat.

- A grounding exercise; Name 5 things you can see. 4 you can touch. 3 you can hear. 2 you can smell. 1 you can taste. Name them one by one.

- Body Scan (version 1); Start with your feet. Tense and relax the muscles. Continue slowly to your legs, torso, arms, neck/head. Feel your body reacting. Holding and letting go. 

- Body Scan (version 2); Version 1 in addition to visualizing a ball of energy. In your hands, above your head, in your heart.. wherever you want. but its yours. Picture it expand and compress or glow bright as you breathe. With each slow breath comfortable to you, send a ball of energy to a part of your body. Tense and relax. What do your feet feel like in your shoes or on the ground? What does your back feel against that chair youre in? 

- Belly breathing; This one is recommended by both therapists and pulminologists (lung doctors). Best laying down. Put your hands or something heavyish on your stomach. Breathe with your diaphram and watch/feel your stomach rise and fall. As you breathe in it should go up, and down as you breathe out.

Hotlines

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore

Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)

Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357

National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP(4357)

National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663

Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761

Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078

Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)

Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188

Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188

thank u sm 4 posting !

So I don’t know if this will be more of a vent or asking for advice

Tw: implies self harm, mild mentions of ableism, a lot of self loathing, questioning existence, this is a vent, if you can’t handle a vent, don’t read this

So I don’t know what’s wrong with me, my family’s almost certain I have ADHD and I’ve been told several times I might be autistic but I feel like there has to be more. I guess I’m just asking what should I do and any ideas of what I should look at in terms of what’s wrong. So I don’t know who I am. I never felt very connected with my father and we bicker a lot. It doesn’t get too bad especially because my mom usually gets us to stop but my dad only likes to be almost business like with me and my mom doesn’t have a lot of energy and is kind of sensitive so I’m always worried about upsetting her. So I pretend like I’m ok all the time so she doesn’t feel like she failed me but I honestly feel like I’m hanging on by a thread and I’ll lose it any minute. I don’t even know how I’ve kept going for this long anyway. I feel like a bunch of pieces of something with no center or core to join them all together, sometimes I feel like I don’t exist in a sense that no one really notices or perceives me. That’s another thing, I get really scared and nervous when I’m ignored and it does sometimes make me question my existence. I feel like I’m incredibly attention starved and I need people who like me to pay attention to me constantly and logically I know that’s impossible and that they have their own lives and things to worry about but it still gets to me. I even begin to think the person doesn’t want to be around me anymore and that I’m just a nuisance to them which has led to some embarrassing situations like when I’d spam someone several times out of fear until they responded. I get really attached to some people to the point where it feels like the world will end if they leave me, those are the people I fear losing the most. It’s like I need to spend every waking hour not spent drawing just talking to them and they just consume my life. I feel like my moods and emotions are just completely out of control and the smallest thing can send me spiraling, sometimes my mood changes so drastically that it’s like a whole separate mode of my personality, it’s like not different enough to be a separate identity or personality but it’s to different to be a simple mood. I feel like punching something until I bleed or just curling up in a ball and crying and screaming for an hour or so. I’m afraid to say anything to people because either they think I’m mostly ok or they think I’ve got everything under control and it’s just something I can laugh off, if they know the truth they’ll leave me. In truth I don’t think I’m a good person. I can be snarky, cruel, and manipulative, I’m not even sure at this point if everything I’ve said is really true or just me wanting attention, I can’t make heads or tails of my own problems anymore. I want to be a good, kind person though. I wish I could say with full confidence that I am but with every emotional outburst I have and Everytime I snap at someone, it gets harder to say that. I feel like if I tell my parents they’ll feel like they failed me, and some stuff my mom has said makes me feel a little nervous about telling her because I’m afraid she might not react well based on some mildly ableist comments she’s made. I mean know she’s open minded and if I just tell her she will realize that it’s ableist but I’m still afraid of being hated. I don’t know what to do. I kinda wanted to just vent my frustrations here but if you have advice it’s welcomed.

you should probably talk to someone you can trust about this, because talking out your problems can really help with your life. I know because I go to a therapist and talking to her [about my social anxiety for instance] really helps me when I have to face certain situations. If you're scared of talking to them, don't worry, you don't have to explain your whole life to the therapist on the first day, the first few days is just getting comfortable talking to them. I hope you get the help you need and I hope you get better :)

Thank you, I’m sorry if it was a bit much, I was in a horrible mood that day (as if it wasn’t already obvious), I’ll look into it though, hopefully a therapist won’t be too expensive, even if I’m not quite betting on it. Again thank you.