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What do I even talk to people about?

JasonDeth's profile picture

Posted by JasonDeth

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Forum: Helping each other

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So I'm a very shy person irl and I don't really do much nor have much that I enjoy besides very strange things. Some times I can have full conversations about life or my strange likes or my hobbies but other than that, I don't really have much to say. I generally just resort to small talk or venting. No one ever talks to me and my best guess is I'm not very easy to talk to. Sometimes I have interesting things to say like stuff about my series or my blacksmithing or astrophotography but that's few and far between. So I just have huge gaps where there is literally nothing to talk about besides me checking up on them.


So, what do I say? How do I have a conversation outside of the tasks I have at hand or asking them questions about themselves? And what do I do when every conversation is just them giving one-word answers? I feel like there's a lot I'm missing here and I feel like I've never had a meaningful connection ever really.


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faekal_matter's profile picture

Reply by faekal_matter

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It helps to start with people like you or you find interesting, that way questions come more naturally and maybe you have the same interests. Starting a convo by complimenting something they have on them is a good start, after their response ask a question related. If its a band shirt, ask if they listen to a similar band or what they think about the latest release. That can kick you off into convo about your music taste and how you got into it.

While I hate small talk, if im meeting a potential friend i find it useful to ease into getting to know them. I think small talk is a thing so that we can get familiar with eachother and feel one anothers vibes and maybe find something in common. Here are some example topics but dont be afraid to stray away from them and carry on deeper into what youre currently talking about. 

Where are you from?

What do you do/whats your major/what do you want to do? 

Do you have any pets or siblings?

What type of movies or shows are you into? 

What are your pronouns? (This one I like to ask at the end after getting their name and contact info bc it goes along with that category + by this point i will have been able to determine if i should even bring it up).


Remember to listen and pause when youre talking abt yourself so they can speak as well. 

It is the BEST feeling when you find someone you just click with and you cannot stop bouncing back and forth talking and getting excited having so much to say and express and be passionate about and you take in their experience or opinion with pleasure. 


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