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Experiences of Former Christians?

To any former Christians like myself out there, if you feel comfortable sharing, what was your experience like with Christianity, and what was your reasoning for and experience when leaving? I can go first if it makes others feel more comfortable to say something. Feel free to skip over, I just think this is something really interesting that we former Christians can discuss.


I remember as a small child I was just told that there was only one god, and that was, well, God. One big reoccurring theme for me when I was a Christian was that I was extremely confused. I never went to an actual church, but instead I would visit my grandparents occasionally and have little "bible study" sessions there. This was usually done with a simplified children's Bible, since I was a very small child. I don't think i've picked up an actual proper Bible, but even the children's stuff confused me a lot. Often when I would see my grandparents pray, I always had so many questions that remained unasked and unanswered. How would I know if God is listening? How would I know if my prayers were being answered? Was there a proper way to pray? What was I supposed to say? When I tried to pray, I always felt like I was praying to a brick wall, begging it for forgiveness when I did something that my family or peers deemed as sinful. While my family wasn't super strict on Christianity, my Christian peers at my (typically conservative) schools always had a lot to say about certain things, especially homosexuality and being transgender (just LGBTQ in general). The more I tried to comprehend Christianity, the less I understood and the more repulsed I felt by being a part of that religion. Halfway through my first year of high school, I started to question things a lot more. I noticed that my family and peers saw anything that wasn't Christian and assumed it was "devil worship." Take Paganism and the pentagram, for example. My mother literally thinks that Paganism is devil worship... Anyway, I started thinking about Christianity a lot more, and just how limiting it felt. Things like homosexuality and being trans were seen as sinful, as well as natural feelings such as anger, envy, and lust. Why do I need a god to tell me how to live? Why is everything that interests me seen as wrong and sinful? Why is God never there when I need help or guidance? 
So then, it happened. I abandoned Christianity and became an atheist, and eventually pursued my nearly lifelong fascination with witchcraft, and I feel a lot happier now than I did when I was praying to someone who didn't even seem like they were there. 
This isn't an attack on Christians or anything. In fact, there are quite a few wonderful Christians in my life who genuinely care about others and accept me for who I am. Which brings me back to my question; So what was your experience like? :)


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Reply by EarlBub<3

posted

Not sure if I count since I was Muslim but they both follow the same god so are naturally similar in areas.

I was always plagued with confusion too. For instance, in Islam you shouldn't question god, which to me was extremely questionable. The reason for not questioning god is because you might find yourself stepping out of line and questioning the religion itself. 

Which is confusing because if the religion made much sense there wouldn't be such major flaws that could make somebody question the entire religion by asking and prying into a simple question.

I also never understood why god made the devil not bow to adam. I was told ''because the pen wasn't writing then'' But god allowed it to happen, he allowed Adam and Eve to be flawed and sinful. And if he is god he knows everything, so he knew exactly what could, would and wouldn't have happened. Yet he let it play out, made a hell to punish us because he decided to give humans free will. Which always sounded sadistic and extremely toxic.

The saying ''God gives his strongest soldiers the harshest battled'' or whatever is so confusing. How am I supposed to love a god who goes against my morals, the very morals he gave me. Why would he let me question him that way, if he was merciful he wouldn't let me stop being religious. But instead he allows me to go my path leading to hell. So in turn I say fuck you god, and fuck you for ruining my childhood. fuck you for convincing millions of people they can punish others under your name.


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