Gay relationships

I get ya. It is quite difficult. Most people are looking to **enjoy** in the moment and then leave, just like that. But hey, just because the majority is like that, it doesn't mean that there won't be people that are looking for those deep connections. It is a matter of looking, or waiting! Patience is a virtue, after all. Sounds cliché and shit, but it's true.

I agree that everyone not like but when you run into person after person who says one thing or does another and waste ppl time it’s an issue. I’m all about being upfront state ure true intentions so i can make an informed decision for myself. It just makes things very discouraging when ppl can’t be honest or play with time because the dating process is very taxing.

It's true, some people are simply assholes who don't want to be direct. That is why it's better in a way to say up front what you're looking for, so you don't have expectations over nothing, etc. It's better to not have expectations. That's pretty much it.

It is harder now to kind romance and people wanting relationships. Even though everything is "hook-up" culture now, if you remain patient, one day the right one will come along.

Ive pretty much lost hope. I start thinking about wanting to be with somebody, but then i remember allthe shit about it that i hate and i remember why i like being single. It's still nice to think about, sleeping next to someone and feeling like somebody really cares about you. 

Yes and yes a lot of people are not ready for this life 

All love all of your responses and I agree in this day and age everything is about unrealistic beauty standards, everything is sexualized, as well as it’s so accessible to get ure nut and go without putting in the work to get to know someone for who they are as a person.

Yes once that trust is gone is hard to get that back and you or whoever broke that trust will have to put in that work to gain that back but it will never truly be like it once was.

Let's get to the root of the problem of how a lot of classic lgbtq culture in the United States is very steeped shame, trauma, violence, and addiction. Lgbtq people have a lot of generational healing to do to be able to have healthy sustainable relationships.

In USA history, we're not even a full 100 years away from a time where it was acceptable to openly mistreat lgbtq people. A lot of us have grown up with all different types of traumas. A lot of us still get disowned and don't talk to our families. A lot of this really wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it hit us upside the head.

I'm also a gay person and I can't find my love, I tried in the past to find someone online but they were just a bunch of older people, rn I really stryggle finding my a gay dude like me, I'm oiriginaly a boy, but now I identify as a goth girl, please help me find someone.... :)

I feel like it’s mostly because queerness is still not fully accepted by society, so a lot of queer people are either too afraid to start dating anyone of the same gender or haven’t fully accepted that they aren’t straight. 

To answer your second question, I have personally not met that many non-monogamous people even in the LGBTQ+ community but I have seen a lot of xenophobia when it comes to polyamory relationships (especially as of late).

But also if you think about how being non-conforming within society is seen by some sociologists: if someone’s identity doesn’t conform to society’s norms, people will judge them less harshly if they go against other norms. For example, it is often seen as more acceptable if a gay guy is wearing more feminine clothes and makeup than if a straight guy where to wear feminine clothes. But at the same time, if a group of people become more acceptable within society, they will be expected to follow society’s norms more (which could be an explanation to why there is more internalised queerphobia within the LGBTQ+ community nowadays). 

The internet has changed the way we view people sadly. I also seek monogamy when I'm in the dating pool. Its a tough current to navigate, but we are out here. Area is a big factor in my experience, I live near a big city and so a lot of people around here jump into what's popular and that happens to be open relationships and non-monogamy relationships. I removed dating apps and have paused trying to date and seek romance for a while for personal reasons but some of the reasons were because I had been on the apps for over a year, many matches and only a few actually talked to me. After a small time, they would reveal they were into open relationships though they had monogamous on their profile. This happened 4 times with 4 different people. I don't do games, and Im not going to do mental gymnastics to figure out how that works lol. I am all for "non traditional lifestyles" but sometimes I think people get into them and use them to manipulate people into undesirable situations for their own wants. 

All this to say, good luck out there, and I hope you find what you're looking for. Keep your head up, and try to do things that make you happy. When you express joy you inspire others and attract them to you, just be mindful of who it is. ;)