Write new Q Anon conspiracies

Tom Hanks is Satan. After the last Hollywood awards show he held a gathering with many other A list celebrates where they ate kittens.  The only way to stop them is to vote for Trump.  He has technology that can tell who eats kittens.  

(I swear this is exactly how the crap is written)

Will Smith is currently training a horde of unicorns in the Florida Keys in order to assassinate Bill Belichick.

I don’t understand what this place is. Why was I invited here just to mock me?  I am Q-Anon.  Who are you people?  

ANSWERS ME OR BY GOD I SHALL INSURRECT YOU!