family issues

I feel alone 24/7, the only person who I want to live for is my 2 year old baby brother but my uncle plans to adopt him soon so idk what im gonna do!!!! the fact that I'm going to be separated from him upsets me a lot 

my dad has cancer and he wont stop smoking and its killing him. Why am i not good enough for him to stop or something and now hes going to leave me and i dont want him to and ive never felt more alone so thats why im posting this 

i have the weirdest relationship w/ my mom. i pretty much just avoid her and only talk to her if she talks to me first or if i need smth. we've gotten into a lot of fights before, for years and years. she's the reason i self-harmed once or twice, i guess? basically whenever she's sleep-deprived or frustrated she takes it out on me. :/

My relationship with my parents were terrible (and sadly still is(with my mom. I don't think i should go into detail but i just don't like her anymore >:-^))

My relationship with my father is interesting. I love him, but I also can’t stand being around him. He’s my dad and he tried his best and he loves me, but sometimes he’s just insufferable to be around.

I’m one of the few people he has that he sees regularly and I go to his house on the weekends (my parents are split and I go between their houses) and it’s clear he is lonely. He doesn’t have a wife or a gf, only our dog and I, and it’s clear he’s depressed but he’s too much of a macho man to seek help and it sucks because all that emotional baggage gets dumped onto me, especially when he gets drunk, which of often. He falls into this spiral of self pity and starts saying stuff like “I’m sorry I’m such a bad dad and that you hate me” and I’m like dude I never said any of that. Is he a perfect dad? No. Do I *hate* him? Also no.

We’ve also been having financial problems as of late. He runs his own business and things have been pretty slow as of late, so we’ve been low on money for a while now. He’s currently in school to get his CDL which he only has like. One more week of, which is good. But he spends an embarrassing amount of money on nicotine pouches and alcohol, and he is unpleasant to be around when he’s drunk. He isn’t abusive or anything, he just gets very depressed and emotional and it is uncomfortable to be around. Also he’s low key racist and has said a bunch of things that make me uncomfortable.

Also like. I’m a teenage girl, and a very depressed and emotionally exhausted one at that, so I value my alone time a lot and want to spend the majority of my free time holed up in my room trying to recover. But my dad can’t seem to comprehend that I need my alone time and he starts getting all pouty whenever I spend more than 30 minutes in my room. He uses the excuse that he doesn’t get to see me very often since he only has me on weekends, but if I do the math of how many hours I’m at home with him as compared to at home with my mom, I spend way more time with him as compared to my mom because of how busy I am during the week. And since he gets all pissy whenever I try to spend time in my room I’ll go out and sit on the couch, but he either watches TV or naps the entire time. So he forces me out of my room and doesn’t even try to spend any time with me, so I come out of weekends just as exhausted as before and for what.