Relationship help.. [closed]

I feel so bad. Whenever I like someone and i'm close to being in a relationship with them everything just shuts down. I start feeling uncomfortable and unconsciously ghosting them/distancing myself from them. I can't help it, all of a sudden everything they do makes me sick. I kissed this one boy the other day and at the moment I felt very happy, but not too far after I felt uncomfortable and disgusting with him and myself. The thought of being in a relationship is extremely terrifying to me at times and after I feel close to getting into one I feel icky. No, I am not aromantic, because I do have the desire and want to be in a relationship. I just don't know, I need help, I don't know why I feel this way and I don't want to hurt anyone. I know I'm hurting people and it makes me feel awful but this disgusted feeling is so overwhelming.