Bisexuality

So I posted this on my blog but I wanted to start a conversation somewhere where hopefully other people can share their experiences as well. I have struggles with internalized biphobia for my entire coming out experience but not in the way where I (she/they) feel bad about liking women but rather I feel ashamed for liking men. This shame has been continually rewarded not only by my ex gf but by my friends and by the general media. It feels like I have to be as gay as possible to be queer enough to identify with other queer people to the point where a multitude of people in my life have thought that I was a lesbian or treated me as such. I am single now and talking to a guy for the first time so I'm trying to work through this but it's such a strange experience to hate the socially accepted part of myself rather than the oppressed part of my sexuality. 

One of the worst things is how people tend to just assume bisexuality is a girl only thing when there are lots of guy bisexuals it’s just weird and upsetting

I used to think I was a lesbian and then something happened. Idk what, but I stopped feeling comfortable with that label. So now if someone asks me my sexuality I just say i'm queer, because I honestly can't think about it anymore because if not I'll think myself into an existential crisis. I know I like women and gender non conforming people, but unfortunately men are once again giving me problems smh; unsure if I like people regardless of gender really, because I do care but I don't? If that makes any sense at all??

Bisexual here, in a het-appearing engagement to a fellow bi. I fancy us as a modern Gomez and Morticia Addams, pretty sure those two were bi too.

Hi! Im a 16 year old female. Im struggling a bit with my sexuality at the moment. I have in the past year been thinking about if i am bisexual. I have been stuck now for a year. There are moments where i feel like i am bisexual. While other times im like no im straight. I just don't know how to come further than this. And the moments where i feel like i am bisexual i want so say it out loud, but i am too scared what if i'm actually not. But yeah honestly just looking for advice.

i figured out i was bi-sexual when i was about 12 or 13 (pretty young to figure out ur sexuality ik)

i had some crushes on guys and girls when i was in middle school! i really wanted to go on a date but i was too nervous cause im worried about the guys being straight and calling me gay :(

I'm one of the bisexual guys out there (yes, we do exist) and my first attraction to a girl was 8th grade where I must've been around 13-14 years old. But I also went to a boy brigade in my city at the time (Idk really how to explain this but it's a really long tradition here in my city where boys march together, they're between 7-21 years old and they learn discipline, frendship and trust and you get lifelong friends after you've left there as a 21 year old or a bit younger, I left when I was 19) Although I had feelings for the girl in my class, I also experienced being attracted to some of the guys in the brigade, both guys my age there and older so that was when I started to realize I could be bi. But I knew for sure I was bi during my second and last year of high school when I fell head over heels in love with the most popular girl in school. She had many friends and she would constantly flirt with all the guys in school, all of them except me. She obviously friend-zoned me big time but I was too young and naive to realize it at that point so I kept dreaming of her and wanting her to be mine but I was too shy to make a move. She and I obviously never became a thing and in retrospect, I should've seen how shallow, narcissistic and self centered she was but I was so young and naive and just completely in love but my feelings weren't reciprocated and I remember looking at pics of her, feeling heartbroken and crying myself to sleep (haha, pathetic I know) but today I'm over her. But with her, I knew for sure I can fall in love with girls as well as guys, but my experience with the girl in high school has made me somewhat weary and afraid to approach girls, so I've mostly gone for the guys ever since. But yeah...that's how I figured out I am bisexual.

hii i'm posting here but honestly i'm not sure if i am bi at this point! when i was young (and thought i was cis) i thought i was a lesbian.. and ive identified as bi for years now, but at this point i feel like gay man might describe me the best!

(i'm also considering the possibility i'm asexual or gray but that it a whole nother topic)

i guess it's a good reminder that sexuality is very fluid and can change at different points in your life - for any reason or for no reason at all. 

what's most important is to have people in your life that can accept you for you, no matter what. 

Yeah, I feel like bi people are punished for being in a relationship that looks "straight" but at the same time once you're in one that's "gay" it's like your bisexuality is erased. It's especially bad for bi women I've noticed, you guys seem to be expected not to like men/masculinity.

I feel like I manage to avoid the drama, I'm a trans guy dating a nb transfemme and my friend ground has lots of genderqueer ppl. It sucks when I go outside my circle of friends

Hey wassup guys I'm new!!!! Add me I'm cool and gay from xhi

i love being bisexual and im proud of my identity but its so annoying when something goes wrong with one male crush and it ruins boys for me for a little while, or i lose interest in one gender for a while :/ however i did start talking to a girl and im hoping things go well with her!

Liking guys and girls feels so weird sometimes, like me personally, I barely crush on guys and the couple of times I do they're only celebrities and whenever I say that I always get told "Well maybe you just like girls" and I do like girls more than guys but also like there's always that one dude I would totally go for so it's like urgrhyfgryfg. Growing up trying to figure out what I liked was like a push and pull between "IS IT GIRLS OR GUYS? " but now I'm comfortable enough to stick w the term bi, even when people assume or joke "You probably would never date a girl tho right?" Or "Have you ever even dated a girl before?" like that has anything to do with just general attraction LOL

I'm Bi/Omni. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster ig. Im not unhappy at all its just hard. My family is somewhat okay with me being bi but also not. They just prefer me to like guys and make is very known. Guys are easy to obtain to me and its not that im not attracted to guys, im just less sexually attracted to them. Girls or Non-Cis genered males, i have no issue with its just Cis men. I have alot of trauma that comes with Cis-men too so like maybe thats apart of it. But like its weird. Im mainly into girls but am barely dating them or talking to them. While guys are easy.

yeah i fr cant tell what i am anymore. 

I have in the past identified as nearly every label under the sun, until i found solace in my label as a gay trans man. although i never really felt a strong physical attraction to any man, i thought that maybe my indifrence was a result of puberty still taking place  ((despite me ALreadY having intense physical attraction to women)). But the label made me feel comfortable in my manhood and i nver loved the label as Bi because it didnt feel extreme enough,,, as if i had to pick a side to really be a queer person lmaoooo.

its several years later now and I have a boyfriend that im not particularly attracted to, weve been dating for over eight months now, but the majority of the time i just wish he were a girl because it would be so much easier for me, but a part of me is wondering if its because then we would just be friends?? because i dont think i have ever had an honest to god crush on a girl, just physical attraction, but to romantic intamcy, and then the oppisite for guys????? ive loved many guys romanically but never physically.

this is where i just get so confused.... i identify as bi now because i dont know what i am and it feels like the closest and safest answer

if you have any advice pls message me im all ears lamo

sometimes call myself bi or gay...but really im homoflexible. because i know im gay but omg i fell completely in love with this girl once which really confused me lol.

I’m just a teenager and everything’s so confusing I judge myself for liking girls and then judge myself for liking boys. I just don’t know because maybe I’m just not ready for labels but there’s just such a push for us to know what we want to be at a young age and I’m not sure. My mom is extremely homophobic and would kick me out of the house if I told her anything.

Crazy how us bisexuals are so wacky and different that we got out own section lmao

Anyways any bisexuals that know how to actually sit in a chair that could teach me?

My fellow bisexual person, we cannot sit in chairs.

Also i though i was a lesbian and then i had a crush on this one guy and so now i'm bi with a preference for girls

I love bisexuality it rules 👍👍👍

I really hate the fact that when I tell people I'm bisexual they just assume I "just" like girls and try to force me to say I just like girls. Or say I don't like girls and that I like men but I explain to them and they totally mark over what I said.

Does anybody else go through phases of liking men or women more?

To the person who made the most recent reply as I'm writing this, yes. Recently I find my self more attracted to men, but there have been many days where I find my self admiring women more. It's normal to have a preference for a specific gender if your bi; it's also normal for that preference to change a lot.

i will like to say as a i bisexual person, in my personal irl friend group i feel like since i am dating a cis-male people think im automatically straight and not as valid as other sexualities, i know this is not true and that they are wrong because i also dated 2 females one trans one cis and i myself is a agender person, but i couldn't help but internalized though comments

Hi uhm...I need some advice tbh
Idk if I'm actually Bi or if I js THINK I am.
Bisexual js dosent feel like the right word anymore.
I feel really attracted to non-binary people, and I feel I might be Pan…but I have no clue

hey anya! This is a super late reply but I think you can be bi and like non binary people :) It's all up to you on how you feel

I think u probably already notice. I always knew, like always were boys and girls sometimes together and others one  is stronger. I learned recently that is not 50/50 at least for me, I yes have preferences and that's part of my pride 

Okay, so, for everyone here involved (if you're reading this, you're involved now), how did you start figuring yourself to be bi? If you're pan (like my ass), how did you figure that out? And how did you know that rather than thinking you were bi (if you did)?

For me, I started off thinking I was bi, but I have many friends who are genderqueer, genderfluid, and trans, so I began to see them as targets of my (platonic) love. After a few months, I figured out I was pan rather than just bi. It was only over this past summer that I finally figured out why I was pan and not bi: my heart is too f-ing big. I got all this love and not enough people to give it to.

<3<3<3

figuring out the path on this has been pretty weird, honestly. being bi is a little weirder when you're nonbinary. I personally like the bi title because I've realized that I have preferences and standards. it's been real, but it ain't been real fun figuring all of this out O.o

I went back and forth of whether I was bi or not. I came from an environment where it was almost easy to explain being trans than being bi, for weird religious reasons. So I suppressed it a lot. Then I spent a lot of time questioning until it clicked for me that I was T4T bi and not interested in cis ppl typically. 

I feel like im a fake because i was born male and have a preference towards women. but like. i am bissexual. i have moments where i feel this intensely. and also just like speaking objectively, it is true. but still. i feel like im just pretending or something. i cant help but feel "less" bissexual than others even though ik it doesnt work like that.

its frustrating. especially since growing up a lot of my friends were coming out and i remained straight.. because thats who i was, who i truly was. and even tho i felt missing out and excluded i remained true to who i was. and now im not straight anymore. and again i must stay true to who i am. now im not straight anymore (weird to put it into words). but theres this voice who wont shut up telling me that im only pretending and im only compensating and trying to be included. but im not, ik i truly am bi.

anyways thanks for listening

i'm a baby gay and i'm still figuring it all out myself. i've been pretty scared of labels because i usually just say i swing both ways. i've dated one guy and never been with a girl (though that's ALL i think about). i've had a handful of gay panic moments with girls and lately have been trying to be more bold and actually talking to them. semi successful yet i still fumble. i'm really trying to get over someone i love romantically (it's one sided). she's older than i am and going to graduate soon, not to mention she's mourning the loss of her girlfriend (happened before we were friends) and i would never want to interfere with that. i just want all of her so bad but its lowkey not good that i obsess over her, and i want to keep our friendship since its really solid. i think realizing i love her romantically after like a year of denial is what made me know im queer? my parents are extremely homophobic and my whole family is catholic </3 so it's hard to breathe around them. my parents found me out kinda? one night my mom decided to look through my phone and saw messages of me talking about my crush on someone who's not a guy and her and my dad were so upset. they think i'm straight now though after they made me go to confession my "sins".  kinda a long rant.. soz. hope everyone's doing okay!!! <3

I love my bisexuality, but I think that a lot of people misunderstand it. I also think that there a lot of us that are still in the closet, especcialy guys because I don't know them a lot in real life. WHERE ARE YOU??? BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE!!!