Relationship advice for anyone

Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you and yeah, it seems like you’ve had a loooot more experience in different relationships than I do and I’m 25. I’m happy that things are going well for you and your new born! You very much deserve happiness with someone in your life. 

Hi Devcam,

As Vascgirl said, it's possibly the long distance, I've been in a few LD relationships and they are really hard to keep strong; even if you've met them IRL, or knew them IRL before going long distance it's still tough. The longing to have someone there physically to have and hold takes a toll emotionally.  From personal experience, even in a LD relationship, if you found someone actually there that you start to care for, it can pretty much kill the LD relationship if it's not strong enough.

Thank you for the responses! I think both of y’all may be right. Even now as she’s going through hard times, there’s nothing I can do for her on my end besides just listen. She said before that she wishes I was there to hold her and tell her things will be fine. Long distance is truly difficult especially with me being in the military. The good thing is that I’m leaving the military soon and I’m trying to finish my last couple of years hopefully being stationed back home. We’ll see how that goes though. I really do care about her and I don’t want to give up but it’s better if I was to try to start talking to her again when I’m back home officially. For now I’ll just stay friends with her and whatever comes both our ways will happen when they’re suppose to. 

Always love yourself first before any other person..

Don't waste ANY time buiding with someone who doesn't treat you how YOU feel like you should be treated or doesnt do the things you would want your partner to do for you and the relationship. It is so not likely you could change a person in anyway. I promise there is someone out there who will be EVERYTHING that you're looking for without having to push but you'll never find them if youre stuck in a relationship and have settled for less than what you want. Be picky its the only way you'll find the right one. Coming from someone who will soon hit 4 years with their partner.

hi : ) my partner and i were together for over a year. he did a lot of stuff that was really fucked up (ex; having me do sexual things i said no to, saying his bipolar disorder made him want to manipulate me, not being able to control his temper and yelling at me/my friends , and quite a lot more lol.) this shit has stuck with me for so long. i cannot let it go, and yet i still love him? and i hate that i do, and i wish i could move on but i don't know how to. he's currently away at a boarding school for shitty behavior (though he claims he's there "because of lies" lol). i'm doing better than i was, but i'm afraid when he comes back i'm going to get sucked right back into a relationship with him. i know if he were to ask me to i'd say yes. i hate everything he's done and i'm getting fucking emotional typing this out and i still love him and i don't know why. i ended things off on good terms and i feel like blocking him would be a mean thing to do but i dont know what to do. i dont want to spiral when he comes back. i feel so much guilt over not being able to move on from what happened because i KNOW he at least put an effort in to change. i wish this was easier. hopefully i can get your opinion, but its totally fine if not. im sorry if this is overwhelming. i'm just lost

seeking advice from people who understand debilitating social anxiety :/

this is reassuring to read <3 thanks

Communication 

ngl im mixed between my own feelings too, i got this one girl i have been talking to her for 3 months my biggest mistake was acting too friendly around her as in acting more like a friend rather then someone who is potentially interested in her. Since realizing this mistake i have been pushing forward the idea of me being interested but not being too pushy since school ended we have been talking less and less so, i talked to her about it and just to say i havent proposed or anything yet, so to her im just a "friend" so i asked her about it and she ended up saying summer is the only time she has for herself and she likes to just hang out with this one friend group because she doesnt see that friend group for over 10 months and only sees them on summer. Idk what to do im either being played or she really just needs time for herself lmk guys.

Universal relationship advice: Communicate openly, respect each other, spend quality time, resolve conflicts calmly, trust and be honest, maintain individuality, show appreciation, support each other's goals, be patient and forgiving, keep things exciting, and grow together.

tbh the most important thing that everyone should do in relationship is being opened in communication. if not it gonna make a lot problems in the future.

i love to read some blogs about relationship and be knowing about all this stuff before problem will come to me from nowhere. last thing that i read is about "how to date a ukrainian woman" (cuz of my girlfriend and yes she is from Ukraine) https://victoriyaclub.com/about-online-dating/ukrainian-mail-order-brides-your-key-to-international-love/

but she shouldn't know about that. lol

I agree, always love yourself first even if it's hard. Love yourself before you get into a Relationship or you'll be stuck with constant insecurity and seeking reassurance if you're still wanted. 

Abandonment issues I understand, but constantly comparing yourself to other people may leave a negative scar if you find yourself unattractive.

More importantly, your goals come first and it's not selfish. Ask yourself are you really in love with this person, or is it an attachment style you wore and got used to. 

Last of all, never ever hurt yourself over someone, eventually you'll regret it and wish you'd apologize to yourself for showing too much vulnerability to someone who would take advantage of it.

Heyy, I have a crush on this guy and i don't know if I actually LIKE HIM or i just like the idea of being in a relantionship, what should I do??:((

I'm in a bit of a conundrum and I may need some advice. So to explain it simply I went out with a girl who liked me but I didn't like her back and I just said I liked her so that she wouldn't be sad. I grew to realise that this wasn't the best option and the end of New year's Day I broke up with her but I felt like that wasn't the best option because later on in life well around six months or three months after our breakup she gained an eating disorder and started vaping and never spoke to me and she came into my science because she got transferred into my class and I texted her basically saying can we be friends because I'm I really want to like get to know you in a platonic way and she replied that's completely fine so I texted her about all the stuff that happened after I break up and she confirmed that it was because of me but there was a point in my life where I started to like her back after I broke up but I'm not sure what to do because we don't speak off than any more and I want to become friends with her.

soz theres this guy i like and hes my best friend >////< but he doesnt seem to reciprocate those feelings :< i always see him at the gas station talking to this 1 girl whos in the other math class.. hes always smiling around her and i waz wondering what i should do to win his heart >_<

hes a paranormal investigator and in my math class btw >_0

Me gusta un chico de mi clase, pero es hetero y parece que le gusta otra chica :ca año atrás éramos amigos y yo no sentía nada por él en ese momento pero todo cambió este año, nos separamos sin ningún argumento. o cualquier cosa por su estilo simplemente dejamos de hablar, y ahora no puedo evitar mirarlo todo el tiempo, creo que me gusta mucho, aunque me confunde porque nuestras miradas se encuentran muchas veces nuestros caminos también se cruzan, lo más extraño. La cosa es que siento que le gusto a él también. Por ejemplo, el año pasado creo que estaba tratando de llamar mi atención, escuchó mi música favorita, le dio curiosidad y durante el recreo no salió a estar conmigo. , Sé que suena loco pero realmente creo que le gusto a pesar de que es heterosexual (? ¡¡No, sé qué hacer!! ¿Tal vez estoy imaginando cosas?

Spanish 

Me gusta un chico de mi clase, pero el es hetero y parece que le gusta otra chica :c hace un año eramos amigos y no sentíamos nada por el en esa época pero todo cambió este año, nos separamos sin ninguna discusión ni nada por el estilo simplemente nos dejamos de hablar, y ahora no puedo evitar mirarlo todo el tiempo, creo que me gusta mucho, aun que me confunde porque nuestras miradas se encuentran muchas veces nuestros caminos se cruzan también, lo más extraño es que siento que le gusto también , por ejemplo el año pasado creo yo que intentaba llamar mi atención, escuchaba mi música favorita, tenía curiosidad por ella y en los recreos no salía por estar conmigo, se que suena loco pero realmente pienso que le gusto aun que sea hetero (? No se que hacer!! Tal vez estoy imaginando cosas? 

hi! im currently experiencing a situationship, sometimes i feel like he loves me and sometimes i feel like shit whenever i talk to him :,) 

i really love him, i get that hes very busy at times especially since hes moving (again...) and got a job too, but he never even texts me. today i asked if he could talk to me more often but he got really mad at me and started saying things like we arent a couple and hes not my boyfriend (he knows i tell people hes my boyfriend but like he never had a deal with it and never said we arent exclusive and stuff) anyways he then went on a huge rant how i never try (i deal with tons of problems and i talk to him about them but apparently thats being selfish because i 'cant deal with anything alone') i really wish he understood how much time i make for him, even in busy days i put a reminder to talk to him and check on him. he hates social media, but still texts this girl called lorna. i know she means nothing wrong but if hes gonna text her then why wont he text me as much? i think our longest convo this month was the argument we had today. 

all i wanted was for him to text me atleast a little more often, and i feel like he completely gave up on us after we spent 6 months dating and then having a situationship etc etc. i wanna stay with him but i have no idea if we should be talking anymore. especially after he hurt me a lot this night.

thank u for reading <3 i know my love life is a little complex lol

Hello there so i just wanna say my first relationship. So im just gonna explain this with no big details but were in the same class and i realized that he had a crush on me. At the time we were talking and were in a kind of situationship i can say we were more than friends. One night he was home alone and it was 3 in the morning he convinced me to snick out and go to his place. i mean it was a cool night but wasnt the best decision ive made cuz we were not together. That happened at the beginning of the month and at the end we got together.

Things were cool but as in all relationships we fighted and had several arguments. Everything was okay till August to September this year he started being dry and made me feel like im pushing it he tried breakup but i didnt let him and convinced him to stay together. He was kind of pick me cuz i saw that he told me things that screamed for attention. He started changing his music taste cuz he thought the made him cool(he didnt like the music that he listen cuz he told me). He never did anything for me, even if i asked to come pick me he just told me that he dosent want to sweat his polo shirt. then he told me he dosent want any relationship and want to stay friends, didnt work, and the next weekend we went to his place and talked about it and it was okay. The next day he told me he wanna focus on himself and we broke up

This was for sure a toxic relationship but i love him, still i dont want him to take advantage of me cuz im not a object. There were so many bad parts but now i feel so empty, i used to talk with him 24/7 and i miss that, plus my cat just died, i dont talk with my dad and i feel sick cuz i cant eat. I  just need to  talk with him, miss the sweet boy he was  

If he text me should i try see if he changed and fix all this crap?