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LGBTQ+ QUESTION

Posted by envy <3

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Forum: Life

hello my friends,, 

im 20 years old F and in a relationship with a man. Ive been with him since highschool and i always thought i would marry him, but theres something in my mind that wont go away.. 
ive always considered myself as bi/pansexual,, but latley i wonder if i feel any attraction to men at all,, despite being in a serious relationship and living with one. 
so i guess my question is how do i know if im fully gay or just bi? 
ive been feeling really confused about this and wonder if ive been supressing my true sexuality. 
boobs are hot


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Reply by hannah

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Hey, this is reply is coming in a few days after the post has been made, so I'm not sure if you're still looking for responses, but I wanted to reply just in case. 


This question is super valid and a lot of people can feel for where you're coming from, I can as well. I'm 22 and I've identified as bisexual ever since I even knew what it meant, but knew I had some sort of queerness since I was pretty young (before middle school). I'll warn you though (forgive me if you've already had this conversation with yourself, obviously I don't know you personally) a lot of gay or lesbian people who have already claimed their identities still wonder if it's true to them, just like you are right now. I say this not to discourage you on your journey but to hopefully offer some comfort and close that distance between you and other women that identify as lesbian. 

I want to introduce this document if you haven't already heard of it; "Am I a Lesbian Masterdoc."
This document isn't a complete guide to lesbianism, and of course not every queer woman has every shared experience brought up in this doc to a T, but it does have a lot of discussion you might want to sit on. It's not a be-all and end-all to your sexuality. Read it if you want or if you can, and ask yourself how it makes you feel after. I recommend it because personally, it made me feel seen and put into words the experiences I had gone through. There were a lot of times where I couldn't quite understand why I felt the way I did in my past relationships with men, and that document helped me. Maybe it will do something for you too. 

Ultimately, don't force yourself to go through any self-realizations you might not be ready for or equipped to deal with emotionally. Even if you think you're ready. If you love your current boyfriend, you enjoy your living situation, you enjoy your sex life and all, keep it. You don't need to go ending your relationship or sleep with a woman thinking it'll bring you closer to an answer. Just be safe and choose what makes you happy. And yeah boobs are hot!

Best of luck,
Hannah 


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