« Helping each other Forum

How do I go about finding a new group of friends in the modern age?

Posted by Bee

posted

Forum: Helping each other

Title, its smth that i wanted 2 do but recently things have changed n it pushed my hand... idk i cant just go out n talk 2 random ppl thats weird but also like idk how 2 find new friends n shit


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Reply by ☆herman☆

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i do not know.

but i struggle with the same shizz


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Reply by daisy

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honestly I think that just talking to random people(for ex. in class, at work, whatever) is probably the only way since I mean someone has to step up and take the initiative right ????????


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Reply by JillTheSomething

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you kinda just have to talk to random people. Once you get one friend that way though you can just hang out w/ their friends. Its how Ive done it. 


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Reply by plasmaDunk

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If ya see a group doing something you enjoy, stare at em a bit or find a mutual friend and just sorta wing it from there. (Don't actually stare at them, try to ask if you can join in instead)


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Reply by 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊

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we can b friends if u want! i understand where ur at, shit isn’t fun at all :( hmu if u need anything!!!


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Reply by Weegee

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Ugh same (´;ω;`)


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Reply by zaL

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It's all about how you present yourself and body language. Ask about their day, complement their shirt, ask where they got it and so on. Be engaged to the conversation and what they're saying. When you feel like its about to get awkward do a quick "it was nice to meet you, hope to see you around" don't drag it. Might make them uninterested.


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Reply by Lovely

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Go to people that in ur class or sum and say hey I’m pretty shy but wanna be friends like they will think ur balsy for pulling that and there u got friends



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Reply by 2kkink

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updated

to be honest these days it gets harder to make friends; maybe its jut me because my anxiety prevents me from wanting to talk to a new crowd who i know have the same interest as me. 


I dunno, I feel like we just don't wanna put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. 

I feel like I took this reply a bit seep omg T-T


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Reply by Sammy

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What I do is I find people who sit by themselves and rarely talk and just do small jesters to them or like throw them a piece of paper at them saying you want to be friends. (●'◡'●) 


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Reply by martha <3

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be talkative, compliment people, and just try to be a nice person - also, ill be your friend , lmk if you need anything :)


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Reply by arachnidsGrip

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I had to move schools a year ago. And it was very difficult going from having classmates I shared a decade of history with to not having any friends at all. But honestly the best thing that worked for me was being patient and talking to people I sat near.


It doesnt always work. Some people are just a little antisocial (and thats fine! Maybe they're nervous, too). But people are friendlier and more receptive than you think.


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Reply by Nazaan

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Mutual interests grow some pretty big bonds


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Reply by lilynut

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damn idk i got social anxiety


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Reply by applesauce

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ive had alot of luck with joining irl meetup groups (though this largely depends on your location, i live in southern california so its fairly easy to find them here)
like im not even much of a furry but there is a furmeet once a month near me that I go to and made some of my best friends there.
since everyone goes to make friends its alot easier to talk to others, and if you know even a little bit about the main topic you already have ammo for conversations. especially if it is an internet culture type interest (a game, anime, or subculture) where you can talk about niche stuff and there is a good chance someone will know about it.
just show up to most meetings and exchange socials/numbers when you start up conversation. and then try and start a convo every week or so or whenever you think of them.

other than that, if you can get invited to a small (>15 ppl) discord server that can be good. Ive had trouble on big ones but if you just post an image every once in awhile and join vc once a week you can get to know everyone slowly.
when i didnt have any friends my bf invited me to his friends server and now we are all really good friends so i think it works pretty well ^^

i hope this helps a bit


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Reply by Sivan Alyra Rose🍒

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I enjoy socializing and make friends & acquaintances (learn the difference) rather easily. Here's some advice:

  •  Take initiative. 
  • Be calm, be patient.
  • Introduce with genuine tone, not forced kindness.
  • Not everyone wants to chat, if so, move on with grace. 
  • Club sports, specialty interest classes, and good ol' community events (concerts, galleries, festivals, markets) are a great way to get out IRL to socialize.

    PSA: Also, don't let yourself suffer from "internet brain". People aren't as scary as one can think, we don't live in ur moms true crime docs. However don't be a dumbass and get entangled with a dangerous stranger. It's okay to have an opinion. It's okay to be happy, upset, and expressive in public and with friends. Just own your space and live in the present. Not the fucking past, not shitty fears of the future. Feel your heart in your chest NOW and get out there! Dust yourself off if your knocked down. 


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Reply by weirdhouseplant

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I find that just talking to as many people as you can until you click works. Usually cool people know other cool people so gaining one friend can lead to more


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Reply by aidan

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im still trying to figure that out


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Reply by sadee!!

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i struggle with the same, however, if you want to be friends i am absolutely welcome to that idea !!!1


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Reply by Doja

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I’m sorry this is kind of generic but, slowly do it.


Talk to some people in your class and just join them, if they dont like you then fk them they dont deserve you. 

Or just abruptly leave. It’s half term break rn so just air them and go to the library or sum, you’ll be surprised how many amazing people you’ll meet there


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Reply by GloomyBear420

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Consider, at first, what kind of people you want to hang out with and meet. Also make sure you've got some interesting stuff to talk about once in a while, don't make other people carry the entire weight of a conversation with you! 

From there, you'll have to find people who like the same stuff you like or have something in common with you. Look for interesting Discord servers like someone said, play some social video games, go to events that have your kind of crowd as much as possible and don't be afraid to go alone! Small music shows, tabletop game tourneys, festivals, conventions....even if you don't get to make a bunch of friends, have fun by yourself and you'll learn that maybe you didn't need them as bad as you thought. I really suggest in person stuff because I think you'll find you're not the only one looking to find a friend. 
When it comes to online, though, I prefer more old fashioned ways, like talking on forums for certain interests you have, obscure chats and discord servers where your voice isn't drowned out in a sea of other voices. Everyone online these days seems to present themselves with a desire for fame without considering a more equal human connection. You have to kinda sift through all that. Don't give up! How you respond to rejection can turn a situation around too, even if it's just later on you get referred to someone else. As someone else said, respond with grace! 


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Reply by Mimi!

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I wish I knew.

I remember how easy it was to make friends in primary school especially kindergarten-2nd grade lol all you had to do was ask to be friends or randomly start playing together. 


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Reply by maria

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i’ve found that giving people compliments is always a great conversation starter e.g on a bus or when you’re walking past someone, you could always ask for their socials afterwards.


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Reply by o_na0mi

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me too :’( the only reason i have friends is bc i got lucky and an extrovert came up to me first -u-


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Reply by ThatLionLoser

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I wish I had some advice :[ Making friends is something I've struggled with for a long time. Some relationships I already had around me have really strengthened these past couple of years, but meeting new people is an entirely different beast.

Do you have a friend who could invite you to one of their servers or group chats? I ask because recently, my friend invited me to their server, and I've met a couple people there that I've gotten along with very well. ^.^

Other than that, I've been trying to get over some of my anxiety and friend people on Spacehey, scouring the forums and such for people with common interests. We could add each other, if you'd like. ^_^


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Reply by lcy

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Honestly I made the best friends I had while I was in college, but most of us moved away from each other so we drifted apart. Honestly if you can make decent friends with your coworkers and then make friends with their friends you can probably get somewhere there.


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Reply by lycan

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literally nobody at my school has the same fashion as me but like whatevs. i couldn't give a shit about those basic lululemon girls.


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Reply by Sybxl

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to everyone: i understand where u all r coming from, if u need to talk/vent to me feel free to do so!! ive been struggling myself a lot so i probably will understand u and wont judge u<3


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Reply by Sybxl

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to everyone: i understand where u all r coming from, if u need to talk/vent to me feel free to do so!! ive been struggling myself a lot so i probably will understand u and wont judge u<3


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Reply by jordan >_<

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wear things ur interested in!!!! i wore a demon slayer hoodie and my now best friend complimented me :3 dont b scared to come up to ppl!!


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Reply by celebgossip

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Reply by TheAlchemist

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Find something that you like about a person and compliment them about it. It may or may not lead into a conversation which leads to a friendship, but it definitely beats staring at them like a weirdo.


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Reply by Milla

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join social clubs of interests such as drawing


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Reply by Rabbit1

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I struggle a lot with this, too. I'm a terrible conversation starter but a pretty good conversation carry-er-oner (lol). If anyone is looking for friends with similar interests as me, hmu.... We'll play MineCraft together or something.


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Reply by Cranky Old Witch

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Whatever your interests, go to places where people meet and talk about it.


Cosplay events, ren fairs, concerts, gamer conventions, wherever.


Find or start an online group for your interests, but for people local to you. After a time, you'll find out who's cool, they probably have meet ups or you can probably start on. Make SURE if you're going to a meet up for the first time, that it's in an openly public place, preferably daytime, and with other people about. 


"To have a friend, you must be one."

-Fran Striker, Lone Ranger's creed


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Reply by kiramira.net

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honestly, finding a group or just talking to people who look/sound cool n give off good vibes - there's also an interesting thing with finding people with shared interests ^^


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Reply by elynka

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I struggle too. I can't really find friends, I don't have any besides my bf and two friends that I never see, because they live far away. So most of my days are lonely too. It's actually quite sad, but I got used to it, that most people didn't live the same reality as me and we don't have anything in common. I still try to be nice to everyone and help others if I can. I tried to find internet friends, but it never really works out. :(


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Reply by iAmThatKidYouKnowWhatiMean

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idk i wish i knew how.

online its ez yk but irl its another thing. especially in germany where i live bc people here are like so shut in yk,like you talk to them and they stare through you and make it awkward


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Reply by Sebastard

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I would think about your interests and see if there is some kind of event or convention, could be a show, just some kind of social event maybe a game night? like-minded people to connect in one way and the rest will hopefully come. <3


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Reply by Crystal Summers

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Well..I'll be honest. I have social anxiety so it's not easy for me. And I really don't get out much, so for me online is way easier! 

I understand though, very much. If you're more comfortable than I am in social situations, google events in your area. Anything you're interested in could be promising. I'm quite subtle but I find myself studying demeanor, etc. A bit of observation goes a long way!


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Reply by ElectronicZen

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You receive the energy you put out. To approach friendship with desperation is something people will unfortunate as it is, sense. If you learn to love and value yourself and develop your own interests and passions, the friendships will come to you.


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Reply by 𝕷_𝕾𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖇𝖊𝖑

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I basically made like 100s of friends by just going to clubs/raves/parties. Most friends I make are the extremely drunk ones in the bathrooms or the ppl taking a smoke break outside, they're always the most kind people in the world + u get big ass confidence booosts from them even if ur extremely ugly drunk ppl always find a way to compliment u n really mean it!!


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Reply by xoxoizuku !!

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from experience, at lunch I just kinda went up to someone who was alone and asked if I could sit with them. i asked for there name, gave mine, asked what they were drawing, it was something from my fav game, we became friends.

another experience, i was at the park and someone had on a shirt of my all time fav anime, and they were alone. asked if I could sit with them, they said sure, I complimented the shirt, and we began talking abt the anime. then we got each other's discord after they happens to ask (i was gonna, they beat me to it lol)

rlly, u just gotta find someone who isn't gonna get annoyed by ur presence (ie, there already in a big group and looks like they're about to do something so youd be kinda inconvenient) like both of those people were alone. another tip is to try and tell what they like, maybe through merch, that is a common interest, so you can start conversation like that. if you wanna know how to start conversation, complimenting something like I did with that persons shirt always works, to further it if there shy you could ask why they like the thing, where they bought the merch, what else do they like, and more


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Reply by Big_Dipper

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its hard for me to say cause most of my friends approached me, but if your in school joing clubs is literally a life savor, or finding any chance to talk to people in classes works too! even just offering people candy in class helps (it sounds stupid ik but its a great convo starter sometimes)


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Reply by Dave

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I have the same problem here too. I really think that other social media's had damage humanity as a whole. Is really sad that now we as humans we can't even have other humans as friends. I wish I can really be understood as a person. I love painting, and make music. If anyone will like to be my friend I'll really appreciate it 


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Reply by Andy Garcia

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I want to get old technology i am tired of new tech


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Reply by Vera

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After graduating from school, the finding friends difficulty is automatically set to "very high" so ye... ik not motivational at all! I got one single friend after school, the rest are people i know for 20+ years


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Reply by Comedian

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In pursuit of happiness or in pursuit of your personal interests you are bound to run into people. Reach out with your metaphorical hand to people when you meet them. The rest is a game of chances. Some will extend the metaphorical hand.


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Reply by jintzire

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what i do if i want to start a conversation is to find a useful topic first, for example compliment them on their outfit and then ask where they got it from, once they answered your question you can choose to follow up with another question or add a piece of your own information. just make sure to get them to keep speaking. if they answer really short then theyre probably not interested in talking to you or feel akward. 

for example:

p.1: hey i like your outfit

p.2.: thank you

P.1.: where did you buy your clothes, i like them

P.2.: oh i got it from....

P.1.: oh i heard that that store ... is that correct?

etc.. etc...


i get that starting a conversation can be really hard but in the end it will feel really rewarding!! just make sure to have a "reason" to talk to them and to start the convo, otherwise it will get akward, it helps a lot to talk to people you know have the same interests as you, or a person you know more information about, this makes keeping a converstation going easier.


u can always ask things like "i heard you (like/do/know) *add interest, hobby or anything else" and from there start to ask questions about the topic or about the answer they gave you.


hope this helps! 


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Reply by Dead Weight

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Sticking around for the answers. I'm on the spectrum, which has alread caused me to lose the entirety of my friends' group. Twice.
So I'm rather reluctant to strike a conversation, and I struggle between thoughtlessly running off my mouth and second-guessing every single word.
Hopefully I'll find some useful advice here.


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