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Okay, so I’ve been with this girl for about 8 years now, we met when I turned 19 and she introduced me to Colorado when I moved down there. We pretty much have grown together and have been through very much, especially since recently I was diagnosed with Kidney Failure from a shitty genetic disease. I’ve become exhausted from not only being sick but the treatments I’ve gotta do. Currently I’m mad at the world for this happening at such a young age and mentally I’m exhausted and she understands, but I know she’s mentally exhausted from me having to go through this and her own troubles. I moved back home and she came with, we have a place together and it seems we were strong in the beginning but now I can’t help but feel distance between us. I bring it up but she’s very short with her words lately. I try to talk about issues but she either just doesn’t take it serious or moves on from the topic.
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8 Year Relationship Failing.
I try not to feed the distance with more distance but sometimes I feel as if she wants it to end and it’s definitely hard not to bring up but I don’t want to just be like “hey, I feel like you wanna end things” I don’t know, I’m so confused and sad. I’m afraid of things ending after 8 years of both of our lives, it’s weird to think about what comes after if it ends up actually being over. I don’t want to be with anyone but she’s always been there, to think of her not being there anymore definitely messes with my head. I suppose if it happens then it is what it is but I don’t want to be smothering or annoying, but I don’t know how to handle this situation. Anyone understand this stuff? How do you talk to someone who doesn’t seem like they want to talk about it?
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Reply by Drea
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I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I will say that you are not alone. Many couples hit a rough patch around the 8-9 year mark. That doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with you. It could just mean that she's not sure how to handle things. Maybe she's scared of losing you but doesn't know how to express that. Maybe your illness has her worried and she doesn't want you to know. There could be many reasons. My advice is to try to tell her how you feel by writing it down if she's not wanting to talk. Sometimes reading one's words has a different affect. Hopefully she will open up to you and things work out. I wish you the best.