Buddhism

"What do I need?

"Why do you want to be a Buddhist?

What do I need?

"What are your goals, goals for yourself and for your community?"

What I do need is:

1) The realization that you are an authentic Buddha

"I'm going to be a Buddha." (I don't want that.)

2) The ability of a sincere, nonreligious person

3) The willingness to be open to others and to be open about your own life.

I think the first thing I need to ask of myself is "What do I really want? Why do I want to be a Buddhist?" I don't have the answers to these. I don't have a clear understanding of how Buddhism should be practiced or what it's meant to be, but there are a number of things I want in Buddhism. I think there are three basic principles:

1) The realization of the true meaning

"What is it I am looking for in life?"

"How am I doing?"

I'm not saying that there is no meaning. There are some very important things that are in my mind that are not there in Buddhism, such as my desire to be open about who I am as a human being, my desire to learn, and my need for self-knowledge, so there is something I need in Buddhism.

2) The realization that you are not just an ordinary Buddhist, but a Buddha who is not just an individual Buddha,

I want a Buddhist that is authentic in all his teachings, but I don't want to be an average. If I am a Buddha, then there will be some other people who are like me and have different views on life, but that will never change what's true. That will only be true because I want to be an ordinary person, but that is the truth that I am looking for in the world." (My opinion on the Buddha) "What do I need?"

I don't have any clear understanding of the Buddhist doctrine, so it is not something I want in my life or my practice or my life, or my

Buddha came to enlightenment after realizing the immense pain and suffering experienced by all in life, and when people hear this, they process this concept as "unhappiness." Buddha does not promise the end to feelings of sadness, or anger, or any sort of melancholy. This concept of suffering, dubbed as Dukkha, is more accurately translated to dissatisfaction. We grow used to the things we have, we grow bored of the things we gain in life. This leads to an cycle of yearning that leads us not only to do bad things that hurt others, but also allows us to gain new things, which we quickly grow bored of.

I turned to Buddhism for it's seeming openness, and in most aspects it delivered on this, all except for it's openness to women. Buddha was wise, but his thoughts on women were completely backwards. He did not believe women could attain enlightenment, which has led to much misogyny in Buddhism. If you take a look at the history of Zen, there are sutras known as the "Blood Pool Hell." Women would be sent to this hell to fester in their own pool of period blood, usually if they failed to give birth or any other "womanly role." 

Zen has progressed past such superstition, as modern Zen stresses meditation, but the more superstitious sides of Zen still exist and influence the today. Zen is still open to this superstition, and such is still open to being discriminate. Indeed, it has it's fair share of esoterism as well, 

I continue to follow Zen Buddhism for it's focus on personal experience, it's flexibility, and it's focus on understanding the nature of human consciousness. You can call me a part of the "humanistic Buddhism" movement of the modern centuries, as I am more of a deist, don't claim to truly know whether or not Buddha did indeed become a god, and promote science as just one of the many ways of understanding nature of consciousness. Indeed, the brain is the most literal extent ion of the soul, and I believe we can gage much about the spirit and nature of humanity in a Buddhist sense through understanding psychology.

The biggest problem I have with modern Zen is that it retains an old power structure and that many sects maintain their superstitious beliefs. I believe modern Zen should displace itself entirely from superstition, embrace deism, and should reform it's structure of hierarchy.