Are you the type to maybe… want to be sad/ feels almost out of place when youre happy?
Like many of us emos, ive been through a lot and the genre/ style of emo helps me reflect that to the world as well as help me feel like im not alone. Like theres others like me out there.
Well, for awhile, all i knew was big sad or numb. For years. So, when things started going good, i didnt feel like myself. The “myself” i had become that is. I also felt it was unfair that others in my genre still suffered, while i found more reasons to smile. A lot of my music used to reflect sadness and pain, so suddenly, i didnt feel as much from my music. I also write emo music and it was hatd writing anything happy or positive cause i never had before. Its like, i wanted to, but happy just dosent captivate like sad does for me. I didnt know as much about it. It even got to the point of when something would get me down again, id acknowledge the beauty in feeling something so intense, even if it was hurtful.
I think spme of these complexities stem from being numb, because sadness feels like something in comparison to numb, which feels like being nothing. Mentally, i feel i was trying to make lemonade out of lemons.
You ever feel this way at all? Ever develop a stockholm syndrome to your gloomy gloom?
Feel free to share how you feel, or any stories youd like to tell.
“A heart that hurts is a heart that works”