i always felt like i was alienated from most people even though we do the same things, feel the same things, do the same things.
i feel like my ideas and desires are kinda different from most people, and that makes me a bit of an outcast in most social spaces, not to the point where i get rejected but the point where people just don't understand me or relate to me in any way.
that is why i keep creating this identity of being "unknown yet familiar" like an animal you haven't discovered yet. that is why i put the name "foreign" in the front.
that same feeling of being disconnected derives from my rejection of popular natural desires. (such as dating, sleeping, consuming.) not as in not feeling them, but not WANTING to feel them. i really wish human desires just weren't a thing, because to me they are a burden. but yet i still am an animal like anyone else. just a mammal.
unknown yet familiar, just like a foreign mammal.
pls don't take this as cringy, i dunno how to express these feelings without sounding corny.