I love homemaking, but sometimes I feel devastated.

The world is so fucking hostile towards homemakers. When I look my parents and most of my uncles in the eye, I know they don't believe my work is real.
When I go on social media, all I see are comments from people belittling, calling everyone who simply works at home sluts, whores, gold diggers. And there are so many people I can't tell my goals in this field to because I know they won't value it for what it is. And, what have I done? Changed my career path because the previous one, even though I love it, was slowly killing me?.  

I like cleaning, cooking, organizing, planning, sewing, fucking around, why is it wrong to make a living from it? I'm not lazy, I work hard, very hard, and every day I work harder. 

People just say, "Your husband is going to cheat on you and leave you for someone younger as soon as you turn thirty, and it'll be your fault." Damn, I'm not even married yet, can you leave me alone? If he does, I'll figure something out, but I know he won't. And all you're doing by saying that is being unnecessarily cruel. There are people who have actually been through that, how do you think they feel? And then there are people who directly say that if you work as a domestic worker voluntarily and you're mistreated, it's your fault too. What the hell is wrong with you to think something like that? And then to post it on social media? I'm tired of this.

Everyone should be able to work at whatever they want as long as they don't hurt anyone, and I don't hurt anyone. I don't understand why so many people are being so awful about it, and why there's so much sexism. I'm tired of pretending that sexism isn't a big part of the problem.

Anyway, it's not like I think about this every day, but sometimes I do, and when I do, it's just that I feel bad, especially if I'm feeling sensitive that day for whatever reason, and I don't like it. I'm not weak, nor do I let things get to me, I just like to vent my thoughts here sometimes.

I want to be a better homemaker despite everything, and that's also got me a bit overwhelmed today, because I try so hard, and nothing I do seems to work. I clean something, and it still looks dirty, I tidy something, and it's still messy even after spending hours on it. And I don't know if anything I do makes a difference. I used to think it did, but I'm not so sure anymore. I just keep pushing myself harder and harder until my body aches, and nothing changes. Tomorrow it will be messy again, and no one will notice what I've done because it's simply not enough. It's not anyone else's fault, it's solely my own. And I'm going to fix it, I'm sure of it, even though it's harder than it seems. I want to bang my head against a fucking wall until I stop thinking, and when the floor has dried from mopping and my break is over, then I will return to my tasks, genuinely happy to be able to do them, because despite all this, I do love my job, with all my heart.

I know my partner does value what I do, thank goodness he exists, and there are people who do value housework. I'm not pessimistic, this is just another little vent that no one will read and will remain in the void, where it belongs, because in reality, nothing I've said here matters, least of all this. Only this last paragraph affects my real happiness.