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I love him so much
So so much
He's my soul, my world, my universe, my God, my everything.
He's my oxygen. Without him I can't breath. Every second without him feels like I'm slowly suffocating in a deep, sour, extremely salty ocean. Sinking deeper, and deeper.. and deeper.. and deeper... Slowly watching the reflection of the sky on the waves fade away.
That's how my life felt 24/7 before I met him.
The strong, heavy, thick, stinging water of the ocean was about to cover the last shiver of light, swallowing me up in a slow and agonizing death.
But then, when I met him..
It felt like the water was slowly getting lighter and lighter, less stingy. And after some time, even the sourness started fading away, making place for a light sweet taste. The cold water suddenly felt like hugging someone you'd missed for a long time. Maybe even thought you lost them. The feeling of relieve as you feel their arms wrap around your seemingly strong but oh so fragile figure. Like the wound finally stopped bleeding. At least, as long as the bandaid is there.
Without him the wound slowly starts bleeding through the thin bandaid he had left behind, making small patterns on the fabric.
Luckily he's always just in time to wrap another bandaid around it, every time a bit thicker. Sometimes even adding some drops of a healing liquid.
The wound is a tough one.
It bleeds.
It hurts.
It rots.
It eats you alive.
But with his love,
his prescence,
it stops.
If even just for as long as he's with me.
Gosh, I love him so much..
I'm obsessed with him.
To the point I start trembling, hyperventilating, crying and even throwing up at the thought of losing him. To the point that his voice makes me fold and squeel and not being able to have control over myself. To the point that seeing him already is enough to turn me into a pathetic, whimpering, trembling, shaking, lovesick, soaked mess.
And before you think it's just violent obsession for the way he makes me feel: that's absolutely not it. Even better: It's just another of the many plus sides that came with being in love with him.
No, no..
It's true love.
True love, where I wouldn't just kill or die for him, but even live for him.
I love him so much, I wish I could properly express it, espescially towards him.
But here I am, writing my thoughts to a forum because for some reason my brain doesn't work properly around him.
And how lucky I am to date him..
He's perfect in every. single. way.
His downturned forest green blueish eyes, like an ocean or sea; his kissable lips; his cute nose; the two very small beauty marks on his cheek; his messy blonde slightly wavy hair; the way his eyes always seem to look tired but in a hot way; the way that when we video call he always fixes his hair and looks into the camera through his glasses; the way he shyly smiles and chuckles but at the same time somehow confident and so fucking hot and charming; his hot hands, not too skinny, not too thick, and also insanely flexible lolz; his voice, -gosh~ his voice-; his masculine body hair..
Thinking about him makes me fold and squeel like a little puppy or something ehehehe
I love him so much, I wish I could carve our initials in our skin together, cut him open and crawl into him like a knight in a horse in the middle age, or sew our bodies together into one, and all without even hurting him one bit.
(Not that I would ever do such thing, the though of hurting him makes me wanna curl up and die)
I would do anything for him.
He knows that, and says he would also do anything for me,
but sometimes I feel like he doesn't know how much I mean it. How much I love him.
Which isn't a bad thing, it would probably scare the fuck outta him.. T^T
He just needs to know that I would do anything for him, but also nothing that he DOESN'T want.
And that I would never. EVER. EVER hurt him.
I love him so much it feels like my love for him is leaking out of my heart and organs, slowly toxicating my blood and digesting me from the inside out. I can feel it pump through my blood and melt my cells away.
It hurts.
In the best way ever.
I love loving him so much
I've never felt like this about anyone before.
Not a single one of my exes or crushes.
I wonder if he feels the same way..
I don't think so. Espescially not as intense as I do.
But that's okay.. as long as he doesn't love anyone more than me, let alone in a romantic way.
Because I'll make sure to let every. single. person on this fucking planet know that he is MINE.
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
MINE
AND ONLY MINE
Mine forever.
My second blood, my second heart, my second body, my second soul.
Mine to love.
Mine to worship.
Like a god.
Because he is my god.
My god.
MY god.
And MINE only.
I love him so much that the universe would explode if I were possible to descrie it.
My love for him is like a small flame on a little candle. It started small but fastly consumed the whole candle, which collapsed and the candle fell onto a piece of paper. Burning fastly, the smell of smoke filling the air as the fire started consuming the book laying nearby. And within no time, the desk was nothing but a pile of burning wood, letting the room catch fire. And as the air was filled with smoke, the whole house started burning.
So fast, so consuming.
It consumed the whole house, then started consuming the houses nearby, until the whole neighborhood slowly started getting consumed. One by one, the houses catched fire and collapsed.
Except the fire was my love for him, and the burning of the fire on my skin is a pleasent feeling.
Anyone who is interested in him? -I'll push them into the fire.
Anyone getting too close to him? -I'll push them into the fire.
Anyone looking at him a bit too lingering or longing? -I'll push them into the fire.
Anyone who is planning on getting in my way between me and him? -I'll push them into the fire.
Anyone who gets between me and him? -I'll push them into the fire.
Anyone who gets to close towards between me and him? -I'll push them into the fire.
I will push all of them into the fire, slowly watching them burn and scream in inmense pain and agony whil laughing and feeing them gasoline and oil and drugs to keep them alive but burn them from the inside out.
Nothing can get between me and him.
Nothing can stop me from being with him.
NOTHING.
No one can.
Not long distance.
Not an age gap.
Not a single law.
Not a single person.
Not a single force of nature.
I am stronger.
Because He is with me.
And He is my god,
and mine only.
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