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Welcome to the official first lesson of “Yernah’s Guide To Upgrade Your Life”! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و
Human beings, by design, have a tendency to think more negatively than positively. It is in our nature that we tend to dwell on situations that we feel like we’ve failed in, or someone’s insult towards us instead of others' compliments or praise, or why we might think back to past traumatic events repeatedly even after the damage was initially inflicted. This is a result of what is called “Negativity Bias”, also known as “Positive-Negative Asymmetry”. At times this can leave us completely crippled and defeated. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I’ve laid in bed or on the floor for hours on end thinking about all the things I wish I had handled differently, or how much I wish I was someone else: someone smarter, happier, more socially outgoing.
However, I believe that this Negativity Bias can be a positive, something that we can use in our favor. Think about it: if our ancestors were completely happy with banging rocks to make fire, chasing dangerous animals on foot with nothing but a loincloth and a spear, do you think we would’ve evolved past that? If we were completely satisfied with using homing pigeons to send letters and waiting for weeks just to communicate with our loved ones, do you think the telephone would’ve ever been invented? Humans beings are keen to point out the things that we feel unsatisfied with. The beautiful thing about this though, is that human beings are also intelligent enough to do something about it (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)
Alright, appetizer served, now let’s get into the main course of this lesson. Wellness.
I’ve been reading Liz Moody’s book “100 Ways To Change Your Life” (which may or may not have been inspiration in not just it’s content but also in it’s name, please don’t sue me (ㅅ •᷄ ₃•᷅ )), and I wanted to share the first sentence she opens with: “One of my core philosophies is that wellness is a tool, not a state or destination.” Wellness is something that we strive for and work towards, and not something that you just get or acquire. You don’t wake up with it, even if you did something good for yourself in the past. Think about it like with someone that is “healthy" (in this context, synonymous with ‘fit’). A healthy person isn’t someone that ate a salad once, or even multiple times, maybe ran a few miles at some point, and BOOM suddenly they’re healthy. “Wellness" is a product of beneficial actions that are done over and over and over again, and this applies the same way to “healthiness". It’s a practice. But what do we do when we’ve tried to set those habits towards wellness, and all they do is stress us out or make us feel worse after doing them?
A key part of wellness is that it's supposed to make us feel GOOD about doing it. If you know you should wash your face, but you approach the sink and think “god I’m exhausted just at the thought of having to do all these different steps”: that’s not wellness. If you’re someone that works out because you’re trying to lose weight or gain strength, but every time you workout you’re just in your head thinking about how much you don’t like your body or the way that it moves: that’s not wellness. If you’re trying to eat a healthier diet but you hate the meals that you’ve been eating because they taste bad: this isn’t wellness either. If you are trying to commit to actions that may be beneficial to you, but they leave you feeling stressed and unhappy, then all you’re doing is increasing your net stress levels. Another key factor when it comes to wellness is taking note of what it is your goals are. What is the core reason(s) that you’re wanting to put in the work to improve something? When you notice these moments in your life where you’re trying to do something good for yourself but you don’t feel good doing it, Liz Moody presents an idea to ask yourself: “Is there a way I can switch my thinking to make this enjoyable? And if not, is there a way I could either modify what I’m doing or switch to something else entirely to [achieve] both the…benefits of the activity [as well as] the other benefits that come from that activity being pleasurable?”
Let’s think of some examples with this, while keeping in mind the idea of working towards our goals:
If you go to wash your face but you’re fatigued by all the steps to do so, try thinking about how much better your skin will feel after cleansing it and hydrating it, and how much better you’ll feel if you don’t have as many blemishes. Having clearer skin is a personal goal of mine, and I know I feel better when I take steps to work towards this. If you don’t like the products you use or how many you use, try changing up what you’re using and how many steps are in your process. I used to have a skin-care routine that was 7 steps long, and over time I found this to be exhausting, because I felt heavier with each individual step (thanks chronic-fatigue ദ്ദി˙ᴗ ˙)); so I picked out the most essential of the steps and bottles, and now I have a routine that’s about 3 steps. I know my skin would benefit from the more advanced routine, but I was left too tired afterwards to appreciate the practice or results. What I do now is better than doing nothing, and it’s better than burning myself out.
If you want to lose weight or gain strength but hate the feeling of your body or current workout, try thinking about how strong you feel after going for a run or lifting weights. Maybe you enjoy clubbing and want to have the endurance to party all night long. Are there rides at the amusement park that you don’t feel good sitting in, or maybe can’t even get into but would like to? Weight loss is a common goal for those that exercise, but think about WHY you want to lose weight. Maybe it’s “healthier”, sure, but is that your truest motivation? And if you aren’t happy with the workout that you’ve been doing, you can try what I did and join a sports team! I took my love and passion for rollerskating, and I joined my city’s Roller Derby team; a like-minded community that pushed my strength to levels I never would’ve been able to hit during my solo-training, and far beyond what I would’ve been able to accomplish in a gym on a treadmill or weight-lifting. Me knowing me, I can only see myself at a gym for a couple of hours tops, but when it comes to rollerskating, something I LOVE doing, dude you could catch me skating in circles all day long. Along the idea of sports, you can also consider combat sports like Boxing, Karate, or Taekwondo. Being able to defend yourself could be a strong motivator to keep exercising. ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
If you’re trying to eat healthier but hate the food that you’ve been eating, think about the nutrients you’ll be getting from these meals. With today’s medicine and life expectancy, people are more commonly living up to be 80+ years old: do you want to be able to sit at the dinner table surrounded by your loved ones in your elder years? Is there someone in your life that you want to grow older with, and want to give yourself the chance at a longer, healthier life to do so? This doesn’t even have to be a person; I know I want to live longer just so I can be around my animals more /ᐠ > ˕ <マ I also enjoy going on long hikes, and eating nutritionally-dense foods allows me to keep enjoying this passion. You can also try new recipes and expand on your cooking skills. I’ll tell you right now that at the age of 26, having even a minimal amount of recipes that you enjoy making and love eating is a HUUUGE boost in wellness. My go-to dinner for a while was a Lemon-Salmon-Banana Pepper-Quinoa-Vegetable mix that was so incredibly easy to cook, left no dishes to clean afterwards, and left me feeling full and nutritionally-mindful every time I ate it.
A bit of a different note, but this also applies to our relationships with others. This is a topic that I’ll get more in-depth with in a future lesson, as relationships deserve their own topic. But still, we should surround ourselves with people that love us and care about us. If you keep someone close that doesn’t consider your wellbeing, or your feelings, or your triggers, or your boundaries, etc., then how are you supposed to work towards a life that you enjoy taking care of? Again, something to think about, we’ll talk more about it later. ( •◡-)-♡
I wanted to get into another idea I had to go along with this, but I think this entry is long enough (ᵕ—ᴗ—) I guess you can consider this to be Part 1/2 in a way hehe. I hope you learned something new from this, and I hope there’s something here that helps you work towards a life that you love living. Any feedback relating to how this post was formatted/presented, as well as any thoughts and ideas about the information itself, would all be greatly appreciated either in the comments or in an IM directly to me. If you’re still reading this far, I GREATLY appreciate you and have enjoyed your company here ( ˶˘ ³˘)♡ I’m not sure when I’ll be posting next, but at the very least I want this to be a once/week occurrence; more if I have the time.
Thank you for being here, thank you for being alive, and thank you for being born.
Until next time!
Ad astra, per aspera.
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