« Writing and Poetry Forum

my poetry (it sucks)

(Criticism is appreciated)

Come--lay with me love

Don't mind my teary eyes,

or how tightly my arms embrace you.

Allow me this moment

of adoration,

of content.

As my eyes open, I'd notice my empty mattress,

The way the moonlight shines beside me.

Yes, I acknowledge I will never embrace you

In the way I feel true.

Abrupt hugs,

"I love you!"

Juliet, I love you too!


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1 Reply

Reply by Maqsood

posted

Why, I found your poem wonderful. A qualm I have is to expand that line about an "empty mattress." Another one I have? Quit that self-deprecation!


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