how to deal with anger

im very aggressive and rn I'm bawling my eyes out, I'm wondering if god hates my guts or its just me fucking up my life, my family doesn't understand shit, the school is the fucking worst ad my mom wont transfer me because of my "grades" I'm always left behind and I'm always last, what should I do to change myself? I don't have a personality and I feel like I shouldn't exist