Sometimes I get this heavy empty vibe that sticks with me all day, from morning till night. Makes me feel useless, like I got no purpose, and it really drags me down ‘cause I see so many people out there with a bunch of friends, doing stuff, having hobbies, going out, vibin’ with everyone.
And me? I just feel like I ain’t good at anything… not even drawing (which is kinda the main thing at my school).
Is it normal to feel like that?
posted
I think what you’re experiencing is 100% totally normal. It’s very common to feel such heaviness and sadness, maybe it even feels like there’s a void in ourselves that is swallowing us whole, eating us alive. I myself can relate pretty closely to what you’re describing.
This isn’t something that’s easy to do by any means, but try not to compare yourself so much to other people you see. We have no idea what someone else has been through or what their lives are like. There’s a ton of people that live that “happy, friendship-heavy, goal-achieving, winning at life” lifestyle, but those same people could also have their own history of hardships, depression, loneliness, or even experiences with substance abuse or low self-esteem. But, we have no idea, because all we can know is ourselves.
Don’t worry so much about what things you’re “good” at, try to focus on what you can do that brings you comfort and happiness. I would say that I don’t draw very well, but I still love the feeling of pulling those lines with my pencil on paper, bringing my ideas to creation, even if they don’t turn out exactly how I thought they would. Your ability to make something “good” will naturally come with time. But you should ultimately ENJOY what you do, working on something that you are passionate about. If you want to get better at drawing, then maybe try taking 30-60 minutes a day to think of something you want to practice, and allowing yourself the space to make mistakes and learn from what you’ve done. As Jake the Dog once said: “suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”
Maybe you could even set a challenge for yourself to encourage practicing. You could try taking a new book, and each day you practice one thing on a page. And then once that book is full, you can go back and see what kind of progress you’ve made. You might surprise yourself with how far you’ve come in your abilities. And if you aren’t happy with the progress, then you at least have a ton of evidence of what you want to work on, so you can go start a new book, and work on those techniques moving forward.
If you do compare yourself to others, try to take this time to study what they’ve done that you like, and take inspiration from them. Don’t beat yourself up about the differences in skills, take it as a learning opportunity of “oh I like what they did there, I want to practice doing some of that myself”. But looking at someone and thinking “i wish i was like them” and not taking any action about it, is only going to bring you more heartache and disappointment.
At the end of the day, try to be patient with yourself, and be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to be inspired by others, and when you feel like you’re lacking at something you want to be better at, take it as a chance to practice and improve what you are passionate about instead of wishing you were already like that.
You got this (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) I believe in you!
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