How turning Sixteen feels

My life has changed since the winter break this year ,when i was still 10th grade 

I dont know how it happened and why

I started questioning everything cuz they dont make sense,but i couldn't quite tell what's not making sense 

I started asking why and what's the point 

And it feels like my past 15 years are fake

People might say: just keep trying,dont ever give up, dont give up on your hobbies!

I know that , but i dont like what i make

So i cant enjoy drawing or writing 

I kept asking myself: What's the point of doing them if you dont find joy?

I want to be happy, i thought maybe I'm not greatful enough to find the beauty in this place 

I dont know, maybe i am

I thought being with people would make me feel better , but no

Now i dont know whats wrong 

I barely leave the house, i dont like my classmates ,i only have few friends but they're from other schools, we're not close enough to talk about this

I used to be hard working at first the school started , i was AA student 

After the break, feels like the grades mean nothing for my future, i thought the world will be fucked up in the future so i asked myself: What's the point 

I stopped being hard working 

Im cooked

I dont even know what i want, maybe peace,but what's if the boredom i feel now is the peace i wanted?

I dont know what i want, I've always thought i knew,now i dont

My dad told me he was like me when he was at my age 

He said he was worse than me 

And he said he was glad that i was ..i dont know , like, it happened on me faster than on others?(My English is poor)

But brotha , what ya mean ,im at the edge of will of living 

Have you guys ever taken this seriously??

Do yall know how serious this it??

Maybe not , cuz i didn't tell all the truth to my parents 

Its fuckin awkward because what if they think im just spoiled up??? Or ungrateful???

Or maybe i am , damn:)