I met my so called c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶

So what I met my so called c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶

Yes she called me, to hang out, it seems its going a lot better now.

There is no hope for me to unlock her heart it seems, so I dont bother, I could but why would I?

There are so many amazing women that I'm longing to meet, not to suffer with her.

She looks good, she has a nice smile, as for her personality thats debatable and honestly not worth mentioning, but in life we opt for dying alone it seems or at least for now.Im fine with being alone, but lets not do that shall we?

Honestly its been weeks or a month maybe 2 and I've moved one, so many fish in the sea

I just hate her friend cause she hates me and she says oh look this guy has bigger arms and he has this shit bike and his back is ripped(even tho it isnt, but ok) and that and that, instead of boosting my ego up, she always bashes me, I did nothing bad to her but good, she always wants to "beat me up" but it will not work, I guess her molecules arent very reciprocating towards me, which is fine. But being an asshole is different, there is just a higher conscience even if you dont like a person, being that much of an arsehole is ehh, but its getting slowly better. I dont try to shit on her and honestly lets move on.

As for now yes I did meet her there was 4 of us and they always try to ship me with her, like what the fuk I get it its a joke, but why why do people always think I like a girl when I do like her, like I can legit say nothing, they instantly ship me with some girl, like how is that possible they are mostly right like almost lets say 70 of time, im talking in general, how do people know, is the great eye contact? Perhaps, i dont know, but yeah i dont need gals to bend down unless they want to, i really dont care i put those bitches, excuse me for my language, those whores that did every guy dirty they got the dirt they deserved even if it came from my own dignity.

Gals they know how to twist the story into their liking, thats why its better to be liked than logical, thats that, but now I got well i didnt get "her" but I interacted with her and in my older post I held her hand and blah blah blah so yeah, I even asked her if her boobs are big, just because, and she said no, lol.

If i cant make her fall in love with me then its fine, but if she gets a boyfriend I should probably cut her off, cause that would be lame like some lame nigga behaviour like there.

I have so much greatness and i dont know what im writing atm, but I wanted to write this, that all the fame I've got all the attention everything I've got, SO NOW what?

What is there to gain...

Is there to lose?

Is thats the answer?

Should I remove all my friends just because they suck?

It just getting boring the convos getting boring the mockery gets boring, whats new, nothing new same old idiots drinking vaping drinking, like what the fuck lol, and they call me weird for drinkin non alcoholic cause its dope, fukkkn idiots.

I really need some higher purpose in life, since friends are fleeting they change every year or two then money gets spent and time gets wasted, what is there to gain in this world, perhaps wisdom knowledge and spiritual guidance?

All the pleasure in life will get boring and if not you will die chasing it. Maybe I just should become mega religious and live life, I have no idea, im just tired of this shit, I can definetly survive in solitude and if not Ill try so people can like me, Ive done it time and time again, I can fit in if I want to, and if I dont so fuck that.

It gets boring to "fit in"

I have friends, so what we are 2 different beings.

I've communicated properly and now they know their place and not only that they communicate back, like thats solid now, but there isnt that much of spark.

I just hate that people think solitute is cringe, guess im not that "cool" ehh most people suck and thats true.

Most people are boring, I have to put "effort" into building "relationships" 

Like why they cant flow naturally to me?

Ughh why why why, I'll just listen to my feelings, if I feel like talking I talk if I feel like not talking i wont, my feelings were right but also not right, i think my intuition is beyond fucked up.

Ehhh, still a lot to learn, fuck it thats that im tired writing posts like this, this is the end.