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I fukin hate my moms attitude

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Posted by xxxzeusxxx

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Literally booking a consultation rn and bam everythijg costs, like why cant she get 100 spend it on her sons career so son can have a fantastic life? Everything she does is hard and makes me think that life is hard and this and that and depressing state hopelessness, like what the fuck is this shit.

Everyday every morning i get that crazy backlash, for literally anything, just becoz its her house, I swear if only i was a millionaire none of the problems would exist I would just fix everything and anytime I want to, want a nice car bam dealaership in 1 week with limo to pick up, literally i imagine and bam i got it, why do i live this shit life.

My moms character is influenced by her morther and her mother had 2 children and she wasnt the favourite one and so she not only excluded and ostacized her but also bullied her and didnt buy her clothes and she got haircuts just like a boy and always instilled oh why go there for a degree you will not accomplish anything or for that job you will not get it and everything she always pushed her down instead of bringing her up.


Mfer I swear my family is a recepie for disaster, not only my father is a piece of shit but also the money osnt tight or so ive been lied to. I get it its hard having a good income anf if yoy want shit u gotta have patience and earn it and it can take months if not years for significant result.


But every hope I get my mon tells me that im delusional or this and that I get that she is being realistic but like why would you do that to your children? Why wont you say dream on and chase your goals like your life depends on it. Why people have to be so mediocre why cant they be great.

Thats why i am whwre i am id coz if i had a proper father figure my psyche wouldbt be so damaged and I wouldny makr shitty mistakes and by now I would be swimming in prestige education and money and everything would be solid and most importantly perfect. And im not even exagerating, its true.

But no i have to be medicore, im shifting from a loser to mediocre atm and then Ill reach God hood like status and become the best. I just feel there is more to life than just swearing drinking and being mediocre, we all can achieve more if we put at least decent work and have huuge belief, despite people telling otherwise.


Everytime I get this suurge of confidence people seem to dislike or challenge me saying Oh well i see how you will do it. Mfer if i really wanted to and i had the capabilities I would.

This world says  to just be confident, but when a person thinks for themselves they get labeled delusional arrogant and stupid, there is no reason to swim in shit when you can do everything to be perfect. But biggest thing is of course money since without it you only have trusted ppl whl van help you when needed, but where i am living people seem vain abd egoistical so thats out of the picture. Not to mention my friend is working overtime and thats that.

I really want to be super confident that others negative remarks wouldnt hurt, but for now im fragile, perhaps in the future ill ascend.


I get it us people dont want others to succeed, but I can promise you that when they see greatness they'll listen.They will have no other choice, but to.

I am waiting for your guys response and insights ill glady read out your frustrations or literally anything worth mentioning.


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lucky x3's profile picture

Reply by lucky x3

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Firstly, I would recommend watching Dr. K’s videos on Puer Eternus:

You sound very similar to feelings I felt from 16-19; Not being able to understand the older ones of us living in “mundanity”. Not understanding not always wanting more and being content being “mid” for lack of a better word. Not understanding a lack of self reflection in the pursuit of self improvement. As you grow older and experience more of life that lifestyle becomes much more understandable. Life is hard, and at the end of the day the point of life is building a life you’re happy with. If you can be happy living that life, by all means.  

I recommend the video because as someone who saw a good part of my younger self in this post, that video has resonated with me a lot in a way that a plethora of other self-help resources have not. I’m sharing not to give you a self-fulfilling prophecy, but to share with you patterns of behavior that may exist in yourself that without checking, can derail this capable confident version of you you’re cultivating and you’ll be where I am, which is where I shouldn’t be. 

Before, when I would hear you need to be realistic / live in reality; I heard “You’re not capable of this.” And sometimes I’d interpret that as “I’m not capable of this so I’m telling you you’re not”. Of course that would only embolden me in the idea and push me further into the mental fantasy of that reality. Now what I think of when I hear that is: “All the grand thoughts in the world are nice, but without any actionable steps in place or meaningful physical drive, those thoughts will get you nothing.”

So yes, having dreams - even grand ones - isn’t bad. Nothing could be further from the truth. But escapism into fantasies is where dreaming goes from a positive force for motivation to a detriment to your progress. For two examples, to even entertain the ideas of “if I had a decent father figure everything would be perfect” or “if I was a millionaire I’d have zero of my current problems and money could take care of it all” is a detriment to you. In one instance you’re just placing blame for your conditions of life on your father and in the other you’re almost deflecting from your current issues by escaping into a fantasy where you have what you need to succeed. 

Don’t get me wrong, your father can absolutely be the cause for your messed up psyche. But how you internalize those feelings and react to them on the inside is up to you. You can choose to blame your mental on your conditions and allow your anguish to persist or you can choose to rise in spite of the harsh conditions you may face. An innumerable amount of people have been able to reach success while having bastards of fathers or coming from the bottom of the proverbial “society barrel”.

Seeing as you’re young and at the mercy of your parents, you can’t change your circumstances much to resolve the issues so the only thing you can rely on is enough mental fortitude for you to weather this until you can make meaningful change in your own life. It may seem daunting now but it’s possible.

For now, focus on what *you* can control. Your grades should be godlike if you’re wanting the successful life you clearly desire. If they’re not, your first actionable step into reaching the life you want is fixing that.


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