how do i become myself a real doll while feeling safe?

im sooo tired of being a human, i wished i could find my true self, but im scared that my parents will find me "weird" and tell me that i dont have to exaggerate my looks.

i always had this weird obssession with the uncanny valley, many people find it "ugly", but to me it is the contrary. theres something about doll-like humans, they're beautiful like angels, gentle and fragile, they shine like stars. i wished i looked like them, genuinly! im just not sure how my family members will react about this, i doubt they will judge me since they always supported me, but im afraid they will think i have gone crazy.

also, if anyone has make up tips. pretty PLEASE give me really good advices!