Granted, but you're stuck working at TruthSocial because no one else will read your application.

I wish I could stand out among the sea of other job applicants (I bet no one can guess what I'm struggling with right now. :P

Granted, but you'll probably get a restraining order after the interview for inapropriate behavior.

I wish i could master the skills i have right now.

granted, but you can only eat wood.

i wish i could better my aiming skillzz

Granted, you have perfect auto-lock aiming skills, but you no longer distinguish between friend or foe or good or bad—shooting own-goals, killing plot-progressing NPCs, aiming to be the most prolific panhandler, etc.

I wish my to-do list would end.

Granted, but you didn't actually do anything that was on the to-do list. Also, you forgot the to-do list items so no loopholes.

I wish I actually work when I say so.

Granted, but now you can ONLY work and never rest. 

I wish I lived in a big nice condo!

Granted! But you have loud neighbors.

I wish I had a Butler!

He always messes up ur stuff!

I wish I had more cats!

Granted, but the cats will will not let you pet them 99% of the time (a cruel fate). 

I wish I could launch a Kamehameha !

granted, but you have to fight frieza, good luck!

I wish i could have any piece of merch i want, be it a plushie, figure, book etc  

Granted but, the previous owner used to soak it in milk before slamming it into the wall and you can’t get the smell of spoiled milk out.

I wish I was a sea sponge

Granted, but you live in a poorly cared for aquarium.

I wish I was better at pixel art

Great but you can only use it for games that everyone will hate

I wish I wasn't tired rn

good, but you'll never sleep again, or if you do, it'll be fitful

Last person didn't drop a wish so I shall so we may continue the game

I wish I was the best in the world at all of my favourite games!

Granted, but you can only play alone

I wish to understand every language

Granted, but it only applies to programming languages. You can tell your PC to do stuff but cannot understand anyone speaking Chinese.

We wish there was no more poverty.

granted, but all the people suffering from poverty vanished.

i wish i had a 3ds :/

Granted. Your 3DS is invisible, though.

We wish Xitter shut down.

Granted, but Elon Musk tries to get his hands on your favourite social media platform.

I wish I could move out.

Granted, but Elon Musk tries to get his hands on your favourite social media platform.

I wish I could move out.

Granted, except that you can only move to North Korea.

We wish politicians stopped being evil.

Granted, in the form of a rogue AI taking over all forms of human government.

I wish to he healthy forever!