Granted, but you have stage 4 cancer.

I wish I had superpowers

Granted, but your only superpower is that you can crawl really fast but your arms have been replaced by legs

I wish I had $10.50

You have 10.50 dollars, but all in one cent coins. You can't exchange for cash at the bank.

I wish I directed a horror movie

I want a turkey sandwich on flat bread with mustard, lettuce, tomatoes and mayonnaise. BUT, I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to be transformed into a turkey myself, or any surprises!

Granted, you can only spend it on warm string cheese

I wish I had a gaming pc

Granted, but you acquire it second-hand and one day some men from the government show up to your door with a warrant and find some files the previous owner hid on the hard drive - good luck explaining that one in court.

I wish the state of Indiana would disappear forever.

granted, the pizza is now 99% crust

I wish I could make the perfect layout

granted, but every day, the code gets jumbled up, and you have to fix each and every error without copying and pasting.

I wish for the USA to have high speed rail across every state.

Granted, but it only has one station, meaning you can't get off of it when you reach where you want to go.

I wish that the future would be a huge utopian city, skyscrapers everywhere, and when it reaches nighttime, it is the most bustling city you've ever seen, lit by the neon signs of the huge buildings.

Granted, but all the text on each sign is in comic sans.

i wish for my food to always be perfectly cooked and seasoned

Granted, but maggots burst out of it every time. :P

I wish all seals were immortal...

Granted, but seals went extinct before you made that wish.

I wish traffic was better.

Granted, But the roads are always have alot of potholes or closed due to repair

I wish for that boulder in sponge bob the pilgrims drove on

Granted, but the government declares it an illegal mode of transportation

I wish for an extra large bag of gummies

Granted, but the gummies are injected with rat poison

I wish for a new phone :3

Granted, but it's a toy phone.

I wish to instantly graduate from college.

Granted, but you can only do it once and you can't go back to human forme.

I wish for an alaskan king crab to appear on my bed on 12/13/2023 at precisely 7:42 PM

Granted but the Alaskan king crab is actually your soulmate

I wish to ban all LED head light and Ford pickup trucks from the face of the earth

Granted! But now all cars are 75% slower and don't have turn signals

I wish for world peace! :D

Granted but now everyone is gone

I wish that Pepsi was sold in glass bottles 

Granted, but every bottle is flat and stale.

I wish to double- no, TRIPLE world hunger.

Granted, but everyone found out you made this wish and are all after you

I wish i could be a skeleton

Granted, but your bones are made of polystyrene foam

I wish all unhealthy food was healthy

Granted, but it gives you diarrhea 

i wish i was special

Granted, but the detective pikachu movie verison of Gengar haunts you every night until you die

I wish I could get $100 for every hour I sleep

granted, but you now have fatal familial insomnia

I wish i knew how to play electric guitar

Granted, but your brain is swapped with the one of a bank robber.

I wish I could get a free bucket of KFC chicken at any KFC establishment.

Granted, but it's a bucket full of live chicken

I wish I had a fountain of youth for future use

Granted, but it's a fountain of molten glass

I wish was 5 inches taller

granted, but now your arms are too short.

i wish my room was clean

Granted, but your game is full of Microtransactions

I wish for a new computer

granted, but it struggles to run more than 2 open tabs

I wish my friend could play splatoon with me

Granted, but they're a sore loser that starts an argument every time they lose.

I wish for some new books.

granted, but theyre all horribly water damaged.

i wish for some more MLP:FiM merch xP

Granted, they are horribly damaged by the child that owned them last (ex: chewed on the toys or dragged a blanket through mud)

I wish for some chocolate milk :D

granted, except its a small carton from a school! xD i wish for a new fursuit !

Granted but it's made from the fur of several local cats in your neighbourhood.

I wish for a world-wide anarchist revolution.

Да3a 6uT is n0T r3aLlY!! 

я w1$h hAV3 a d0G!!

granted but the dog is a living corpse and doesnt listen to you

i wish i was a real man

granted, but you are unable to acknowledge that women exist

i wish for a new jacket

granted, but you are unable to acknowledge that women exist

i wish for a new jacket

Granted, but you bought it at Goodwill for $3 and it's never been washed.

I wish they would make a new Rayman game.

Granted, but its a mobile 'match 3 in a row' game 

i wish my favorite character in any media wouldn't die

Granted, but the writing is so bad that it's practically unwatchable. Not "so bad it's good," so bad it's like your ears are caving in.

I wish the color beige stopped existing.

Granted, but your skin turns neon green and glows in the dark

I wish I had more piercings

Granted, they're all infected

I wish i was better at web design