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TW!!!
This talks about me w a new bf and nit getting over my ex bc he sexual abused me.
I feel dirty honestly, I'll probably write some more talking about how dirty feel.
SEXUAL ABUSE IMPLIED!
I can hear your laughter filling the air
It warm my soul, I feel bad for letting you know.
Your curls always look good,
For some reason I stare at you while classes and kinda always think of you
Whats your deal, green pretty eyes?
You live I my mind, I wish it wasn't like that.
What do you want from me, loud warm laugh?
Your eyes look mines like if you tried to read my soul,
I don't get why, but don't stop looking at those.
It's something wrong, soft pretty curls?
I wish I would rip off my skin when I look at you,
I can feel your hands on my skin like that day,
You ruined my life, but I can't hate you in any stupid way.
You act like nothing, I think you don't know,
I don't wanna tell you, you'll probably cuss me out.
You made me dirty, I cannot feel happy again
I'm disgusted of people touching me,
yet I wanna hold your face between my hands And kiss your freakles
Memorize it like a map, burn it on my mind to leave it marked.
You think you'll ever know?
You pushed into it, I said yes even if I wanted to say no again.
I can't forget you still, I didn't fell out of love
I saved my mind by getting away from you,
I betrayed my heart by finding my boyfriend after you.
But I couldn't stay, it would kill us slowly and I preffered to get it out if the way
I wish you'd talk me back, I don't hate you, I have so many things to talk...
Hug me again as if it's the last time, I don't care that you made me dirty and ruined my life.
Kiss my cheek and tell me you're sorry...and hold me against your chest to sleep as we said...
You can touch me again, but please be gentle, don't make worse the open wound infront you...
Split me open and eat my guts slowly, do they taste good? Watching me die when you do...
Rape me again, and make sure to kill me once you end.
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