I miss my mom

I really miss my mom. And it’s not that she’s dead or anything oh no, it’s just that 10 months ago (if I count correctly), my mom lost custody of me again due to me and my sisters stupid decisions (which were not going to visitation and my mom couldn’t do anything so she’s not in the wrong). This is the second time I have to live with my dad. So there I went. From Illinois to Florida all in one trip. Of course I was comforting my sister the whole way there, no stuff that was ours in the car due to having to leave the courthouse that day with nothing but our clothes that we were wearing and my phone (which was dying). Man I just miss my mom too much. She’s my best friend. She just gets me, unlike anyone else. I don’t even remember her voice or her laugh. It sucks but what can you do? Judges never listen to kids. Even if I’m 16. they will never listen (I’ve been through 3-4 judges already). Sometimes, dying sounds like sweet relief because of my life. I don’t get a second chance at being a teenager so. Sorry for venting this much though. Makes me feel like my problem isn’t even that bad lowkey compared to others problems