what being lonely does to a person

Question

honestly i dont even know why i feel the way I do, maybe I'm just crazy, maybe I'm just a teenage girl, I met someone online, I haven't even met him, I haven't even talked to him on a call, we only chatted via text, but I've never felt so heard or connected to someone as much as I did with him, he is very kind and nice, the kind of people that only exist in movies, in books, he loves nature and animals, hell, he even told me that he would love to have a herd of sheep, I never felt as happy as I did talking to him, I know this is wrong, I know I'm just miserable getting attached to people I don't even know, but I cant help how I feel, sometimes I wish I could just die, or disappear, he's got a girlfriend now, they go on dates, and he sneaks into her house at night, they are so cute, they are everything that I can never have, he tells me "you will find love one day" or that I will be with someone, but I don't think I can, everyone is the same, and besides I don't think I will be able to open up to someone else as much as I did with him, he's made it very clear that he's not interested in me, even I knew that ever since we started talking, I don't even know whats this that I feel for him, maybe I just like the person he is, or maybe I've over analysed everything, I don't know, but everytime he brings up his gf, I feel as though I've been stabbed into my heart and been gutted alive, I'm just a fool, I'm just a loser, I'm so lonely that I make mountains out of air and belive I can climb up on them.

I wish I could stop this madness, bring an end to this endless cycle of misery, but I genuinely don't know what to do. I don't have anyone with whom I feel comfortable talking about this. I just wanted to rant, to have someone listen or read in this context. I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

i just wish he could be happy with her, that they could be everything I can never be, that they bring light with their connection that somehow manages to overthrow the shadow of my misery. i hope he lives a great life and affects people with the kindness of his soul

(sorry for the bad English I'm just retarded)

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Recently something similar happened to me; we met online, I felt confused, abruptly i said i liked him, he said he did too, he took it back, said it wouldn't work out because it was online, and now we're just friends, and I felt more hurt about it than I'd wanna admit, really.

I thought about it for a bit, ""I want to be hurt, I want to be mad and complain, but he's so sweet, he did nothing but want the best for me and himself, he did nothing but be good to me yet why do I feel this way? Like I've been wronged?" that's the sort of stuff that had been ringing in my head.

And ultimately, I decided that,

the person who can love me the most, the way I want to be loved, is me. If I want to feel some semblance of, "love," if I want to feel less, "alone," the best way I can start is by doing things to make myself feel that way. I'm not just saying splurge or treat yourself,, it's more of like. doing things that are good for yourself, yknow? Like I was contemplating on starting a business with my art, and now I've found I've decided to join a local art convention.

The best thing you can do in for yourself in these times of loneliness, is to be there for yourself. Relying on one person only for attention is really addicting, you need to become the main person who gives yourself attention and care so that you don't end up practically suffering from not getting it from others.

Involve yourself in community, better so local community. Involve yourself in the things that you love. Involve yourself in your hobbies and interests and love yourself and the things and people you care about wholeheartedly.

The love from other people, love from the world, it will all come naturally in ways you wouldn't even expect, and you need to make an effort to allow yourself to be loved. If you keep seeing yourself as unlovable, if you keep pushing everything away, then it's going to be more difficult to see it.

Anyways, hoping the best for you,, hoping that you don't beat yourself up over it. Loneliness is a very isolating thing. It makes people desperate and do things that they don't want to. Even in times where it feels like that, I hope you can see the good in the world, the good in you, and I hope you can see that, in at least one person's eyes, in your own, you too, are worthy of love.

- a teen girl who isn't the best or smartest person in the world, but is trying very hard to be the person they want to be.

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what being lonely does to a person

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