Madlib Fill in the Blank starter

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This one is an individual Fill in the Blank

    I once got so drunk I (past tense verb) an (noun) during (public event).
    I failed the roadside DUI test because I could not touch my (body part) to my (body part).
    When I get wasted my friends say I act like (person) trying to play (sport or instrument).
    I once came out of a blackout surrounded by empty (noun) boxes and dressed up like a (profession or noun).
    Once, I was so desperate for money I gathered my (object or noun) and sold (it) them at a pawn shop for (number) dollars.
    My mug shot looked like (person) had a kid with (person) who obviously hadn’t bathed for (number) weeks.
    My nightmares used to include (noun) throwing (noun) at me while shouting (weird phrase).
    Someone once posted an online video that showed of me completely sloshed, running (adverbial phrase) while (verb) just so I could win a bet.
    I once went to work so hung over I was wearing my (noun) inside out and my breath smelled like (noun or concept).
    There was a time where I would have (past tense verb) (on) a (noun or concept) if it meant I could be free of my demons.