cursed headspace :(?

since I was a child I had a ‘happy place’. I don’t want to tell too much about it, but it was basically my dream. A magical forest. And then strange things began happening. Whenever I’d ‘enter’ this place using the command words, conflict arose irl. 

I believe this may be connected to my ocd somehow, but a part of me is still terrified that my happy place is cursed. The last time I tried to go back, irl hit hard again, and I strengthened the commands needed to enter so I couldn’t do it on accident. 

posting this 2 see if anyone’s had a similar xperience :)