Poetry

My Trauma (OC POV)

Sounds of explosions fill my ears and

Confusion fills my mind.

Soothing crackles of fire turn into a

snapping sound of realization

Screams and shouts are heard from the windows

The armored king and queen run out shouting at me

A roaring sense of panic sets in.

In quick thinking I armor myself

I run out towards the front lines

Trying my best to run past overwhelming sounds

My siblings run into the forest

Possibly saving themselves

My parents yell at me, telling me to fight

In panic I forget all I learned and freeze

Insults distract my parents 

Blood splatters against me

I watch them fall with lifeless eyes

My heart drops, my legs tremble

I fall to the ground, my eyes never leaving

What have i done?

Everything starts turning louder and darker

Voices fill my mind

I have a feeling of screaming 

I stay paralyzed and get taken away

What have i done?

What do I do?

There's a hole opening in my chest. 

A pain stinging around the edges.

I'm heavy with emotion, unable to leave bed

My pain is unseen to me but its not forgiving

The shadows of my mind hold places I wish to lose

People I wish to forget

Experiences I wish to disappear

The walls of my heart are ever so organized

Keeping those for me while my mind has piled them in the back

My heart is full in the worst way

The center, slowly decaying of hurt

I wish to improve, my heart an anchor

Like a ball and chain, i struggle to move.

Can I turn it off? Could it just forget?

My love, it's time to forget and move on

Im fatigued

Emotionally,

Mentally,

Physically.

My heart is fatigued.

Its tired of beating for something that rarely moves.

Its tired of loving people who see me as a place holder 

Its tired of having a void that love never fills.

My mind is worn out.

Worn out by having millions of thoughts

Its tired of creating so many ideas to distract me.

Its tired of thinking my inner child is vulnerable and weak 

My body is weary.

Weary of holding it all.

Of holding in thoughts

And frustration.

Im exhausted of having to be locked in my bittersweet mind

Im exhausted of having silence that could have been filled.

Im exhausted of routine

Im tired of my mind being locked by trust

Im drained.

Of all I've been.

Of all I've done.

And of anything i will be.

I'm not angry.

I'm not disappointed.

And I'm not changing.

Im just tired

I sleep every night, I rest my head and body

Yet sporadically my shoulders droop

my head hangs, looking at the floor

my legs feel like stopping.

my eyes narrow in frustration of existence 

and my ears drown out the sound of music

My body feels exhausted at night when everything is silent

 Stress flows evenly through me when I lay

My mind goes blank

My eyes zoned out

My heart heavy

And my breath deep

Why is existence so fatiguing?

The warmth of people irritates me 

 but I await a shoulder I can lay my head on 

To truly feel the tension and pressure leave. 

I await a shoulder that relaxes my mind and soothes my heart. 

I await a person I can truly trust to rid me of the tiring experience of living and give me the true feeling of rest

Impression poem

The indigo night sky is filled with clouds and ash

Embers arise from buildings set a blaze

Clouds are casted with shades of red and pink

Screams are heard from every street and home

A demon passes through 

Leaving hell and chaos behind in its footsteps

Taller than the tallest sky scraper, it looms over the city.

It’s three glowing yellow eyes watches the people 

Horn-like appendages branch out of its head

Red orbs of magic on each end

Black magic sprouts out from behind like wings

And all four arms spread out

In each hand, mist the color of rubies, diamonds, emeralds and gold emerge

A shadow heavily blankets it, from its head to its waist.

a prince stands with a head full of dull, blond hair and a navy blue cape

Stands across from it in a standoff

A heart of gold is strong and wholesome

The owner of it has will and motivation

The will to fight and stand

And the motivation to walk a path they choose

The owner of it has will and motivation

Strong enough to seem unbreakable

Their motivation to walk a path they choose

Seems so unrealistic

They’re strong enough to seem unbreakable 

They’re loveable to everyone who meets them

Seems so unrealistic

they're in a pool full of dreams and love

They’re loveable to everyone who meets them

Like a wholesome child not yet touched by the world

It’s like they’re in a pool full of dreams and love

So happy and inspired

Like a wholesome child not yet touched by the world

Do they realize the chlorine in the pool?

So happy and inspired

With waves of water splashing against their skin

Do they realize the chlorine in the pool?

Do they realize the water isn’t safe?

With waves of water crashing against their skin

The chlorine and pressure of the water slowly starts to tarnish the gold

Do they realize the water isn’t safe?

 Have they felt their will decaying? Or their motivation slowly going dry?

The chlorine and pressure of the water slowly starts to tarnish the gold

Waves start crashing harder and faster

Have they felt their will decaying? Or their motivation slowly going dry?

Have they lost their path? Has stone and gravel blocked it?

Waves start crashing harder and faster

Yet they seem unphased

Have they lost their path? Has stone and gravel blocked it?

Have they lost grip of how they once knew them self?

They seem unphased

And look as happy as ever 

Haven’t they lost grip of how they once knew them self?

 Hasn’t their heart of gold tarnished?

They look as happy as ever

Have they filled their heart with fool’s gold?

Hasn’t their heart of gold tarnished?

Slowly they seem to change

Have they filled their heart with fool’s gold?

Their heart is slowly becoming impure and fake

Slowly they seem to change

A person who once smiled now frowns at every intake of a slight problem

Their heart is slowly becoming impure and fake

They’ve lost their smile, their purity

A person who once smiled now frowns at every intake of a slight problem

They still fight and love

But they’ve lost their smile, their purity.

Now a heart of gold is lost and decayed

The abandoned small boy

Dreams for equality

In a dark world

Unable to be seen past judgement

He dreams for equality

He is different than everybody

Unable to be seen past judgement

He keeps his smile

He's different than everybody

Until he finds a house full of people

He keeps his smile

He has found friends once judged, once hurt

He finds a house full of people

At the bottom of the board

He keeps his smile

He's ready to climb his way to the top

At the bottom of the board

He hasn't lost hope

He's ready to climb his way to the top

Along with his friend who's already above

He hasn't lost hope

He fights his way to the top

Along with his friend who's already above

Rivalry sparks his motivation

He fights his way to the top

Tripping on his way up

Rivalry sparks motivation

He picks himself up

Tripping on his way up

He remembers his promise

He picks himself up

He carries the light

He remembers his promise

Leading the way to the front lines

He carries the light

Showing the way to a better world

Leading the way to the front lines

He's made it so far

Showing the way to a better world 

Leading the way to the front lines

He's made it so far

Showing the way to a better world

2 years later he's so close

He's made it so far

Maturing on the battlefield

2 years later he's so close

Betrayed by the one he looked up to

Maturing on the battlefield

At a ceremony just for him

Betrayed by the one he looked up to

Will he pick himself up this time?