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the man (original poem)

so, I'm new to poetry and id just like some advice and criticism since it would really help, i really wish to get better and improve as i go on but this is my first piece I'm confident with
 thank you :)

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The man


the man arrives again

swearing and roaring,

he's as angry as a mad man with no intent for amends 

he wont leave until he gets what he wants yet he demands more.


the cruel words flow from his mouth like lava bursting out of a volcano

spewing from his lips, brutal and vile,

he seeks to possess everything, to own everything I am,

it doesn't matter what I think

he'll take it anyhow, even if my heart fills with angst 


he took what I own yet he's not full,

my house is bare

I'm hollow, regretful 

Demolished everything I am, left me overcome by despair 


the man takes and gains

always wanting

always demanding

always hungry

when he craves he will attain.


he grows violent when he's not fed

feed the man to keep him content

even if he wants to dig his teeth sharp as knives

deep into my flesh sharp and bent,

I cannot say no,

if do, he will get worse ,

he can have everything


my skin torn,

ribs cracked open,

exposed to him,

he doesn't crave me anymore-

it's my fault.

he's left me-

is he full? 


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1 Reply

Reply by Emil

posted

Hi! Please read my new poem gnarly! i wont dissapoint! 


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