relationship going nowhere

Ive been with a guy for a while now (a year) and he is my first boyfriend. We linked through instagram when we were 17, and i felt like i should give it a shot as i havent been successful in “finding love” the old fashioned way. 

I thought we really clicked when we met, he was a chatty type and made me laugh, even though i wasnt attracted to him for his looks… Till then, i didnt really receive much romantic validation, as i was very introverted and didnt have many friends. So, even though i wasnt that sure i liked him, we got together. He kissed me the second time we met, so it felt pretty rushed. But i decided to give it some time.

During our time together we shared wonderful moments. And i know i like him, and i like our relationship the way it is. He knows things i havent told anyone, and he was always there when i needed him. 

But recently, i dont trust him that much… He always knows what to say, yet his actions dont always match. He tends to forget things i find important (for example: he told me he would go to my marathon to support me running, but forgit i was there the day it was lol), he likes and follows other girls he doesnt even know… It made me question our relationship. I cant help it, even though i may be paranoid but i have this urge to get away from it all.

I also feel like our relationship may be too surface level, like we dont really understand each other. For example, he dont asks about my interests and even judges some of the things i like. He sometimes gets me flowers, and even bought me some nice things, but i cant help but wish hed know just what id like to get, and see that he really things about those things. But then again, he is just a guy, maybe im asking too much.

And now, he has been initiating for us to sleep together. I cant help it, when he does it, i dont think i really like it. I dont feel loved, but lusted over, as if he is rushing just to get what he wants. And thats when i tell him to stop. And he listens, and tell me he will wait, but tries again the next moment he gets. I do understand his frustration, i know its important for him to do this with someone… But for me, i can only do it if i see this as something lasting in the future.

Isnt this going nowhere? Im torn on what to do because id hate to lose him, it feels sometimes like he is the most genuine friend i have. And sometimes, i dont feel his care is genuine.

Im just very confused myself on how i feel, im constantly at war with myself. I guess i do need a reality check, though i may not have done the whole story a justice here… Sometimes im too passive in my life, and hate change, but i need to know should i let this go.