some writing

    i’m gonna be completely honest i hope this turns out ok cause i don’t know if i’m great at writing or if this comes across as weird and corny, but i kinda hope someone out there will like it.

The day after i killed myself

    The day after i killed myself i woke up. i saw my dog sleeping curled against me warm and happy. i woke up to my messy room, with clothes and trash thrown about. When i finally got up i went to the bathroom. once i got there i just looked at myself in the mirror, and for the first time in a long time i didn’t yell at myself or critique my looks…i just..stared. when i stared i realized something…more like i saw something. i saw me. the real me. the me i try to hide from others, scared of their judgment. The me that’s been through hard times, beaten and broken. The me that had a hard time looking forward to anything. Not the me that was happy and cheerful all the time. While i continued to stare at my self something caught my eye. it was my phone. someone texted me? but who? It was 10:42 and he texted me good morning. I was at that moment…happy. I almost forgot everything. I stared to feel glad. glad that i woke up. glad to see myself in the mirror. glad to stand in my room, to see my dog snuggling against me…just the night before i couldn’t find a reason. perhaps a failed suicide is all it takes for me to finally be glad that i’m alive. but i wish it wasn’t. i wish i was normal. but maybe i can work to be “normal”. The day after i killed myself i was finally happy to wake up and find reasons to keep on living.