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IDK why I can't get along with my little sister, for more that I try I always feel like she hates me even if I am the one who developed trauma for having to take care of her since she was like 4 (and we don't even have 3 years of diference) because Too poor to afford a nanny.
She constantly gross or mocks being surprises when I shower or wash my teeth, for some reason she can't stand me stimming, even if I was the one taking care of her she can't even follow when I tell her that I don't want her to eat in MY BEDROOM cause I don't like to have crumbs or stuff like that in MY room cause it brings ants and cockroaches, like in her messy ass room, when we were kids she used to pull my hair until I agreed to do what she wanted contributing to my struggles at settings boundsries and sayn NO, she takes my stuff without asking and gets upset when I don't want to let her borrow my stuff cause A-She rarely asks B-She is an asshole with me and C-She doesn't takes care of anything and uses to break or lose what she borrows. Plus she is constantly bodyshaming me, I'm over-weigth and I've always been but I have NEVER got to a point where it affects my health significantly, she is super superficial and treats me as if I were one fry away from a heart attack, complaining that I eat too much as if we didn't had the same diet; I wear fucking M and L, there wouldn't be anything wrong(besides the health stuff) if I were obesse, I am not and she is always complaining about how I dress or how I look.
Lately I've had an intern conflict because I feel good when she doesn't get her way and when she gets grounded, she has always had younger sibling privilege and MANNY times my parents had take her word and opinion as both's. Then as she in the "Why does everyone hate me" teenager stage where actually she is the one who hates everyone I just can't help but feel happy as my parents see her true colors and how shitty of person she is, she has disrespected my mom and thinks that she can do anything when she is just 15 (like going to my cousin friend's party with people 18 and older) without even asking for permision properly, thinking that saying "Dereck's birthday party is saturday" without even knowing where it is.
She has got the idea that I'm the favorite or something because I can go out whenever I want and get more money when I get out and just have more freedom generaly without thinking that it is maybe because:
- I'm about to turn 18
- I have almost excelent grades
- I ask for permision properly at least one day before
- I don't talk disrecpectfully to my parents
- I do my part with house-chores the moment I get told to
- I'm concious about money
- My room is messy but that mess only stays in my room
Even after all that I still try to get along with her because she is my sister and I love her, but I'm afraid that is the only reason I do. I just don't know what to do or feel, I don't wanna hate my sister even if I already hold resentment for her, I just wanna get along with her.
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