Absolutely cooked with the last stanza! It was a great read!
It was a little hard to read, cause of some missing punctuation, but that's very nitpicky and it might just be your own style.
For example, in the first stanza:
To everyone around you seem so weak and shallow.
It looks line you're missing a comma and tried to go for "To everyone around, you seem so weak and shallow." Again, this is very nitpicky, and it doesn't take away from the poem as a whole.
Very heavy symbolism in the second stanza. Really nice.
You're drowning silently alone.
The chest is heavy, it's a stone.
Each breath takes so much will.
It's getting hard to take a step without a pill.
This is an awesome line. A heavy chest, like dragging you down under, as well as a heavy chest when breathing. I did feel like the last line didn't flow well with the others, it just feels a little too long. I would consider either tightening it or breaking it up into separate lines so the rhythm isn't disrupted.
What I really liked was the last stanza.
You face unknown - you face the fear.
Your mama says: ”Calm down, my dear”.
You wish the words could heal the scars
Each time you see the falling stars.
This stanza is great. Each line flows really well into the next and is very melodic. The rhymes are immaculate, it rolls really well when reading it, and the rhythm is consistent throughout the stanza.
The vibes are amazing as well, very heavy and dark. I can really sense the pain and hurt in this, if that was what you were going for. I like that, at least to me, there's a little bit of a hopeful ray of sunshine with the wishing.
Overall, it's a great poem to read.
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