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I'm 18 and have never been in a real relationship. I've had silly little middle school "relationships" but nothing in high school or beyond. This makes mee feel very behind in life compared to others my age.-_- I've noticed a pattern in my behavior: I develop very intense crushes on guys and stalk their lives, but when they start liking me back and wanting a relationship w/ me, I feel extremely suffocated. I end up ruining things on purpose so that they'll leave me before I can hurt them further down the line. I don't understand why I do this, and I don't want to be this person anymore. If anyone else is dealing w/ the same issues or knows why I behave this way, pls let me know.
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self sabotage or something else????
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Reply by Cone.Unknown
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I've seen others in your situation before, and I've had crushes before that I've ended up just yk completely losing interest in, (not because they were interested in me but that they weren't who I thought they were.)
My advice is if you find a crush you like, just try to become friends with them first, see if you can enjoy as friends before trying to date. If you lose interest, no harm no foul, if you genuinely still enjoy them after being friends for a while, and think they'd be a good partner then I'd go for it :)
Something else you can do is maybe ask yourself, what about these people were suffocating to me, was it actually them or was it the relationship itself? Did I over-idolize them and they weren't who I ended up thinking they'd be? That kind of thing.
Hope this helps :)
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