how do i get over him..?

hii! hope ur all doing great! last christmas, i met P through an ex-friend. he dm me and within a week, we got super close. the chemistry was THERE. ive never connected with someone like that in my life. we would have endless convos. by early jan, i started to like him a lot. he claimed to like me too, even saying "ily" in such a short time, which was obv odd but i hadnt realised back then. to this day, i still dk if it was lovebombing or genuine. i dont think he truly loved me, but def did liked me asp. we had been thru everything tg. (btw P had visited his cousin for xmas, who introduced us. P used to live in my town but moved 4 hrs away. we never met b4 since hes older & had no mutuals.) we talked abt meeting up but he kept avoiding it. a few months ahead, his sis -now my bsf- told me he never wanted to rly hang out & shared our chats w her. he went back to his city, disappeared for 2 weeks bc he was in a relationship which ended, then returned, apologizing and saying he missed me. i was hesitant but moved on. from mid jan to march, i faced family issues and depression, he supported me thru everything, making me feel deeply cared for. i started falling in love with him. in march, he got another girlfriend, pushed me away, and we had a big fight. blocked me for a month, then came back like last time. despite being heartbroken, i went back, and things were back like nun happened. things were going soo well. i had trusted that man w my entire life, he knew me so well. we were never in a relationship, just a situationship. one day in may he randomly left me on read, i didnt text back. my best friend told me he reconciled w his ex. i felt unappreciated, & constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. he always gave me mixed signals and talked to others, never being exclusive, which always hurt and confused me. y was i never enough? even tho he said and showed he cared, i was exhausted. he broke up in august and in september we reconnected. we had a deep talk about our lives lately, his university and plans and trying again, since he would be even closer to me next year. i broke down, sharing how i felt & he made me feel safe and loved again. but this time, i couldnt open up like before. i didnt trust him how i did. the person who felt like my soulmate. i became so insecure around him id reply hours later, afraid hed judge me. in less than a week, we lost contact. the chem was gone bc of me. he hurt me so bad bro. i miss us and i still love him. i wish everything was the same. our memories r so pure and sweet, i get so nostalgic every time i think of them. i seriously feel like we are soul tied. we always find a way back to each other. i feel like our story never ends and especially not when he'll come back to his hometown. i dont rly want him anymore. i jus feel empty w/o him. i look for him everywhere and i cant catch feelings for anyone i have met those past months. there r no ppl like him. im so confused w how hes feeling, i have never got clear answers to my questions which makes me feel worse. i could talk about him for hours. so much therapy and i still cant get over him. i dont know what else to do. i love him sm and i hope next year he decides to grow up and try again. should i move on w my life? and how should i? im 100% sure he will come back tho. i tried to make this as short as possible, but trust me its such a longer story, i appreciate everyone who read this. thank u so so much. i jus want to stop feeling like this. please help a girl out ! thank u again endlessly and hope the best for u. xx <3