I hate him

it makes me sad n annoyed that I found out my friend would stop caring about me when I went through my nonverbal periods. Because I have asd and depression and I'm selectively mute plus I think I might have undiagnosed bpd too so I would have my periods where I wouldn't talk for even a month sometimes or just leave the conversation suddenly. I was like super open about it to him and apologize too and he said he wouldn't mind till I just recently found out he stopped caring for me when I did tis n like why do u lieeeeeee :( why do u say u love me but then do tis stuff to me