Need to vent?

Lol i need to rant, im feeling like shit rn at 6am in the morning. It just sucks, im an adult (21) but i still feel like a teenager and the one thing i think about when feeling like shit is: AREN'T I TOO OLD TO FEEL LIKE THIS. its so frustrating, seeing other people living their lives to the fullest, making plans, having families and then im just sitting here depressed af, semi-diagnosed, since mental health care SUCKS BALLS where i live. 

You're never to old to feel like shit. There's no reason to lock yourself away from your feelings because you turned 18. I can't really help you, I'm not a therapist, but don't beat yourself up because you're 21.

school is making me wanna kms i rly cant do this shit anymore thats it

All my life I have always been the Alien weirdo...sure I'm the most funniest and comforting but I can't help with these trust issues no matter how hard I try to trust my friends I just can't do it...I'm in middle school (6th grade 2024-2025 12 yr old american black girl) and I just get so lazy to do anything I have eye problems so I can't really see good even though I have glasses. so, I can't really see what to do on the board. I feel like people are only with me out of pity. I am also an Aquarius so I don't know if my zodiac is behind it but it probably is...I am also the weird friend who is extremely sensitive to rude comments and fake friends, but I get scared to say how the rude comments hurt me and how I get scared to say "I don't wanna be friends anymore" if I don't have any friends, I get bored (easily) mostly at parties. and I hate how I think I stink and worry about my body Oder all the time...my father doesn't really visit me, but I know he's doing stuff and sees me sometimes when he has the time (my mother and father aren't together). I always have to have a happy face and think that things don't bother me all the time. also growing up I didn't have the house or life of my dreams so I often, sometimes, or mostly daydream about what my life would be if things were diffrent. i sometimes think about self harming my self and thinking about how good it would be or feel but i'm scared to do it.