I'm afraid

My friend is studying to be a photographer. Today I had to bring her a thing for filming, which she reminded me to take last night. I forgot. I remembered only in class. "It was expected" - she said it so much that I was scared. Then she recorded a voice message to her friend in front of me that this shooting was very important to her, and since I was so unreliable, she would have to look for the inventory herself. Recently I have already offended her, and she unsubscribed from me in one application, and hereMy friend is studying to be a photographer. Today I had to bring her a thing for filming, which she reminded me to take last night. I forgot. I remembered only in class. "It was expected" - she said it so much that I was scared. Then she recorded a voice message to her friend in front of me that this shooting was very important to her, and since I was so unreliable, she would have to look for the inventory herself. Recently I have already offended her, and she unsubscribed from me in one application, and today My friend is studying to be a photographer. Today I had to bring her a thing for filming, which she reminded me to take last night. I forgot. I remembered only in class. "It was expected" - she said it so much that I was scared. Then she recorded a voice message to her friend in front of me that this shooting was very important to her, and since I was so unreliable, she would have to look for the inventory herself. Recently I already offended her, and she unsubscribed from me in one application, and today she hasMy friend is studying to be a photographer. Today I had to bring her a thing for filming, which she reminded me to take last night. I forgot. I remembered only in class. "It was expected" - she said it so much that I was scared. Then she recorded a voice message to her friend in front of me that this shooting was very important to her, and since I was so unreliable, she would have to look for the inventory herself. Recently I have already offended her, and she unsubscribed from me in one application, and today she is already in tiktok. On that occasion, I wrote her a long letter of apology with the words "I appreciate our friendship" at the end. She did not sign back, but said that she was not seriously offended. 

Tomorrow I hope that at least at school I will communicate with her as before, even if she cut off all our connections on the Internet. Perhaps her unsubscribe has nothing to do with these events, and she decided to focus on her studies, as she said, but I don't want to part with a person so abruptly again.

иAnd I also don't know what to feel: to be sad and blame myself in the end, or to try not to make a mountain out of a molehill and just enjoy life with another group of friends who are even closer to me?